Shaina+Mugan+8-L.I.

**Rough Draft - Argument (** **RHS** due 03.30.11; **171** due 04.01.11**)** IGNORE!!!
 * Revision (1) - Argument (RHS** due 04.05.11; **171** due 04.08.11**)**

IGNORE!!!!
 * Revision (2) - Argument (RHS** due 04.13.11; **171** due 04.15.11**)**

**GENDER INEQUALITY IN THE USA WORKFORCE** The women who started the suffrage movement did so in hope of closing the gap that existed men and women both socially,politically, and economically. Over time, women received education equal to that of men, they got rights to vote, own and work in a business. However, even though women received quality education, they were never payed the same salary that men who received the same education got payed. The American Civil War brought change to the Americans who lived in the southern part of the country, as the main form of labor,slavery was abolished." Women found themselves working in areas that they had been previously discouraged, if not forbidden from pursuing."[1] They disguised themselves as men and fought in the battle fronts,they joined medical organizations that helped injured men and nursed them back to health,they sewed soldiers uniforms and worked in any other area that had shortage of workers. The men in the battlefields also encouraged this change for they thought that it could help them defeat the glorious Union, then things would return back to normal when the war was over. However, as Lucy Buck from Front Royal said "We shall never any of us be the same as we have been" The women started to seek more opportunities outside home, especially during the industrial era, and she was proven right when the Equal Rights amendment to the United States was enacted(it was enacted n 1972 and expired in 1979). After the war was over, men returned home and took back their job positions. Women were forced to return to their previous status however, new opportunities that weren't available such as nursing in hospitals became available and opened new doors. Later after world war one and two, women commenced the fight to get same rights as men. They gained more job opportunities and they were able to help their husbands support the family during the great depression. They paved the way for future generations who were able to be elected officials and lead a cooperate company. Although women were able to rights to vote, work,and be educated, they faced challenges at work for they also had a family to raise. Their salary decreased as they reproduced, and most them were payed less than men who hold the same jobs as them. As men lost the power to control over women at home, they found another way to put women be under their wings through workforce. Before the twentyth century, only lucky few women from wealthy families were able to have little control over men. They could divorce them if they wanted because they had an anchor to rely on. However, average women weren't able to do such things because starvation and lack of sanitation would have probably killed them. A average woman could not raise children as a single mother, unless her husband was dead and the government provided welfare instead of allowing them to work, and it was also frown upon by the society. For a woman to earn a salary same or higher as that of men, she has to be career focused and forget about raising a family because it decreases her salary. The men in the same position received training, promotions, and bonuses because it is still believed that a man is the main provider of the family, a woman works to increase the families income. This doesn't include single mothers, considering that they are also in the feet of the household's main provider. Walmart, the nation's largest private employer, was recently accused of discrimination pay and promotion practices. Betty Dukes and six former and current female workers claimed that they had been "subjected to different discrimination including being denied management training, experienced retaliation for initiating internal grievance procedure, not getting promotion to a higher level, and being harassed, and denied equal pay**."**[3] Even though the public learned that these kinds of problems were happening in the company since 1998, no one was able to do anything about it, and Walmart isn't the only private company out there having these kinds of problem. Even though, women are now able to vote, get an education, and work in whichever field they want, they are still under the wings of men. Men action and beliefs can be explained by the conflict theorists who argue that groups in power, with the ability to control people under them, use their powers to maintain a favorable position and keep the doors closed for other people who desire to achieve such powers. As functional theory states, society needs to have a balance and cooperation between women and men,[4] or otherwise, this society where every one enjoys freedom of life may be brought to its knees just like any forgotten society. We must not live like animals where the fittest survive, instean we must acknowledge each others potential and encourage one another to reach it.

﻿ [] [] [] [] http://web.grinnell.edu/courses/soc/s00/soc111-01/IntroTheories/Conflict.html []


 * Liliane,**
 * I think it was a good idea to pick one topic (pay equality), within the vast oppression of women, I see you found a lot to say on it. Also, I really think that beginning with some historical background is also useful in showing how this inequality has emerged. However, one thing is, this argument is not a big argument, meaning, it is more factual. Your paper reads somewhat more like listing of facts than interpreting information to use it to prove a point. Also, most of the information was word for word from your sources, which was most of your paper-- it is especially important to use ideas and information from experts or those with credential when you are arguing something, especially if you are not an expert yourself, but you should use information from others to supplement, that is, add to YOUR own ideas. I would like to note, however, I have seen improvement in your use of sources-- going from not citing them at all, to indicating that you did use a source! Good! However, you still need to focus on either using your own words to talk about what they say or putting your whole paper in quotes- a combination of paraphrasing and quoting is what I would suggest. :) With that being said, I really like the flow of your paper-- the way you show how women entered the workforce and have succeeded in becoming educated etc, yet, once we are doing everything that men are, we still do not get to enjoy equal treatment. I really want to see more of your voice in this piece. Please let me know if you have ANY questions about anything for your final draft. I look forward to seeing it. Thanks for sharing with me! Talk to you soon,**
 * Shaina**


 * FINAL - Argument (RHS** due 04.19.11; **171** due 04.22.11**)**

**GENDER INEQUALITY IN THE USA WORKFORCE** The women who started the suffrage movement did so in hope of closing the gap that existed men and women both socially,politically, and economically. Over time, women received education equal to that of men, they got rights to vote, own and work in a business. However, even though women received quality education, they were never payed the same salary that men who received the same education got payed. The American Civil War brought change to the Americans who lived in the southern part of the country, as the main form of labor,slavery was abolished." Women found themselves working in areas that they had been previously discouraged, if not forbidden from pursuing."[1] They disguised themselves as men and fought in the battle fronts,they joined medical organizations that helped injured men and nursed them back to health,they sewed soldiers uniforms and worked in any other area that had shortage of workers. The men in the battlefields also encouraged this change for they thought that it could help them defeat the glorious Union, then things would return back to normal when the war was over. However, as Lucy Buck from Front Royal said "We shall never any of us be the same as we have been" The women started to seek more opportunities outside home, especially during the industrial era, and she was proven right when the Equal Rights amendment to the United States was enacted(it was enacted n 1972 and expired in 1979).**(Source?)** After the war was over, men returned home and took back their job positions. Women were forced to return to their previous status however, new opportunities that weren't available such as nursing in hospitals became available and opened new doors. Later after world war one and two, women commenced the fight to get same rights as men. They gained more job opportunities and they were able to help their husbands support the family during the great depression. They paved the way for future generations who were able to be elected officials and lead a cooperate company. Although women were able to rights to vote, work,and be educated, they faced challenges at work for they also had a family to raise. Their salary decreased as they reproduced, and most them were payed less than men who hold the same jobs as them. As men lost the power to control over women at home, they found another way to put women be under their wings through workforce. Before the twentyth century, only lucky few women from wealthy families were able to have little control over men. They could divorce them if they wanted because they had an anchor to rely on. However, average women weren't able to do such things because starvation and lack of sanitation would have probably killed them. A average woman could not raise children as a single mother, unless her husband was dead and the government provided welfare instead of allowing them to work, and it was also frown upon by the society. For a woman to earn a salary same or higher as that of men, she has to be career focused and forget about raising a family because it decreases her salary. The men in the same position received training, promotions, and bonuses because it is still believed that a man is the main provider of the family, a woman works to increase the families income. This doesn't include single mothers, considering that they are also in the feet of the household's main provider. Walmart, the nation's largest private employer, was recently accused of discrimination pay and promotion practices.**(this sent. still needs quotes too- word for word again)** Betty Dukes and six former and current female workers claimed that they had been "subjected to different discrimination including being denied management training, experienced retaliation for initiating internal grievance procedure, not getting promotion to a higher level, and being harassed, and denied equal pay**."**[3] Even though the public learned that these kinds of problems were happening in the company since 1998, no one was able to do anything about it, and Walmart isn't the only private company out there having these kinds of problem. Even though, women are now able to vote, get an education, and work in whichever field they want, they are still under the wings of men.**(good restatement of thesis here)**Men action and beliefs can be explained by the conflict theorists who argue that groups in power, with the ability to control people under them, use their powers to maintain a favorable position and keep the doors closed for other people who desire to achieve such powers. As functional theory states, society needs to have a balance and cooperation between women and men,[4] or otherwise, this society where every one enjoys freedom of life may be brought to its knees just like any forgotten society. We must not live like animals where the fittest survive,**(hey wait a second, are you suggesting that men ARE more capable!? :) )** instean we must acknowledge each others potential and encourage one another to reach it. **(this has a nice, conclusive end here, good**
 * (this paragraph below seems like it should be linked in to, or just following the one that ends in " **Their salary decreased as they reproduced, and most them were payed less than men who hold the same jobs as them." **<--that transition sentences works well with the first sent of the paragraph below)**

﻿ [] [] [] [] http://web.grinnell.edu/courses/soc/s00/soc111-01/IntroTheories/Conflict.html [|http://www.wikipidea.com]


 * Liliane,**
 * Hey! Where did all of my comments go in your first draft? It was very difficult for me to see what you changed and improved. However, I DID notice that you added in some quotation marks which is great! But I see there are still some places that you're using others' words without crediting them! (remember, this is called plagiarism and it can get folks into a load of trouble!) I think you chose a great topic, here though. I am not sure when you are actually turning this in, in class, but it would be helpful for me to see my old comments too... do you have them? (maybe not). Also, while this has potential for great fluidity, with the info and ideas you're working with, some of the transition sentences are rocky and there are places that look like they could be moved around to make it more fluid (see comments in the text). LIke I said, I'm not sure when exactly you have to turn this is, but let me know if you have questions about anything.**
 * Thanks for sharing your work with me this semester! talk to you later,**
 * Shaina**


 * REFLECTION #3 (****RHS** due 04.25.11**)**

***I have moved our "reflection" discussion (and your reflection) to the area below labeled for the first reflection.** *** ** (Yes, this post is still under "discussion", but now we are placing them here, sorry for any confusion.) ** Hi Liliane, ** ** My name is Shaina. I am a senior Writing major/Sociology minor at Drake. I am graduating in May, and then moving to China to teach English for a year! I am sincerely stoked about getting this opportunity to work with you. Writing for me has been not only a passion since I can remember, however, also a developing process and activity of necessity. One aspect of writing (and reading) that I never neglect to consider is that it is a privilege. It is something that is expected in our culture, but its importance or urgency is not universal. That being said, I am particularly fond of the theory involved in writing. I think it is important for it to be noted that writing as an art, as communication, as any form it might take, is a product of culture and society, thus, like many things, I would encourage you to question it, seek to examine how it can continue to be transformed and utilized. Further, and in regards to your work this semester, I am also particularly fond of the argument—in writing. ☺ I really think that constructing an effective argument is useful in many aspects of life. During the semester, if you have any questions, concerns, ideas, whatever, feel free to shoot me a line to my email: shaina.mugan@drake.edu. ** ** Again, I look forward to working with you! ** ** -Shaina **
 * Letters of Introduction ( **due 01.21.11 **) **

Hi Shaina, Hello, my name is Liliane, and I am a junior at Roosevelt high School. I come from Rwanda, but I have been living in the USA for the last two years, so I am still getting used to Iowan winters! At school, I am involved in Academic Decathlon, Ignite Mentors, and Science Bound ( a program sponsored by Iowa State University). When I am not doing a jillion homeworks, I read non-fiction, take care of my sibling, crack crazy calculus equations, and reading market reports.

Since my accent gets in the way when I am communicating with people, the only option I am left with is writing. I love how I can write my ideas better than I can converse them ( although my teachers think I should be speaking more). I would like to learn using short sentences and higher diction. I would also like to improve my organization and syntax.

In college, I plan to double major in Economics and Philosophy. I also plan to minor in English, which is why I am taking AP English. I look forward to gaining more knowledge in writing, and I am very thankful for your time. Hi Shaina, What'sup? I am just playing around with my iPad!

Liliane

Hey Liliane, Ha! Ya, we heard you guys all got iPads! What a treat! Do you guys get to take them home, or do you just check them out at school or what? Also, from your first post, I think your plans for school sound great! Effective writing is essential to most any field you'd want to pursue--an English minor will be very helpful. I also started out in Philosophy, it is a fascinating discipline. Anyway, I look forward to reading your draft that you'll get up here this week. Talk soon, Shaina It is a skill believed to bring with it wealth, power, glory, respect from others, and recognition. **(Good opening sentence- attention grabber).** This skill come**s** as a natural gift, but ambitious men have found a way to learn it. This skill comes with many responsibilities, and many great men and women who succeeded have achieved many accomplishments, but multitudinous men have failed wretchedly. The world is not in balance if it is not fully exercised or when it is over exercised. The people who possess it are believed to be better than the rest, since their word is the law. **(Good, this whole first para. is working well as an attention grabber! Reread the last sentence "the people who possess it...", this is your thesis. Consider what the paper is supposed to be about- is it people being "better than the rest" and "law"? In your first body paragraph (below here) you talk about leadership, could you bring that reference into your thesis? As a reader, I thought this paper was more about leadership.** **Is the paper about "law" or "leadership"?** **Is law one way to exercise leadership?** Leadership is the ability to get people to follow your lead. It is a persons ability to manage, lead, guide, and control. Leadership is the design, creation, and management of group actions that direct the combined efforts and ideas of individuals in the group that a leader is leading. Leadership is principally concerned with the ability of an individual to influence others. **!!! IMPORTANT: If this is a definition taken from a source it MUST be credited, otherwise you have plagiarized. Let's talk about how to cite things when we meet, ok? Also, all of the previous sentences have excellent potential to work as topic sentences (sentences at the beginning of each paragraph).** This is typically accomplished through the use of the communication process towards acheiving set goals, which contribute to a purpose. Good leaders are made not born. **<-- Good, maybe this idea could begin a new paragraph following what leadership is.** If a person has the desire and willpower, he or she can become an effective leader. Good leaders develop through a never ending process of self-study, education, training, and exprience. **(This has wonderful potential for a concluding paragraph!) Think about this sentence as a restatement of your thesis-- this might help you with structuring your thesis so that it is more about leadership.**
 * Rough Draft - Definition ( ****RHS** due 01.27.11; **171** due 01.28.11 **) **

I apologize for not writing the essay on time, i was sick and i missed three days of school so i am just trying to catch up with the rest of the class. anyway i am stuck here, i wanted to continue by writing an example of how a person can recognize a leader even before he knew the person[this happened to me ]. but i am not able to switch from definition to description!!!lol please jugde my writing harshly, because that how i will see what you are trying to tell me!

Thanks again, Lilliane

Hey Liliane, I think you have some nice ideas to work with here. I really want to stress how important citing is, first. Make sure you see someone about how to properly do this- and we can talk about it too! Supplementing your writing with quotes from others is a great way to add to the clarity of your own work- but you gotta give them credit! (At Drake, we would be expelled if we plagiarized!) :) But also, keep in mind that READING is one of the most useful things to do in the writing process-- after all, this is how we discover what ideas are out there and how to consider them and discover our own, right? That being said, I think that your final few sentences are the most important- they might even function as ideas for your thesis in the beginning, which I think needs some tidying up. So, each point you make can be what each body paragraph is about. You have set yourself up nicely. So what is leadership? You mention several ideas about what leadership is. Are there any that are particularly important to you when you define this term? For example, "leadership is the ability to get people to follow your lead" - this is a good, simple definition and a good one to start with. You could go in to what is "following your lead" (for an early body paragraph) and then for following paragraphs, get into the other, more complex, ideas of what leadership is ("Leadership is the design, creation, and management of group actions that direct the combined efforts and ideas of individuals in the group that a leader is leading"). Let's start with this and focus on organization- do not worry about diction yet, organization is more important at this stage, we can go in and fine tune after we have a working structure. PLEASE do not hesitate to ask me questions, and I hope you have some. I look forward to seeing new drafts of this work. Talk soon, Shaina OH! and another thing! I have seen your name spelled with one "L" and two, so which way is correct? I don't want to misspell it!

Hi Liliane, I hope you've had a chance to look over your draft and begin to revise and continue working. You may have heard that you guys are supposed to post another draft by today (Tuesday). I hope to see it soon. I want to let you know, however, I will be flying out of town tomorrow, so the sooner you can get it up here, the more likely it is that I can get a response to you today! Happy writing and hope to hear from you soon! -Shaina
 * Revision - Definition ( ****RHS** due 01.31.11; **171** due 02.01.11 **) **
 * LEADERSHIP**

It is a skill believed to bring with it wealth, power, glory, respect from others, and recognition. This skill comes as a natural gift, but many ambitious men and have found a way to learn it. This skill comes with many responsibilities, and many great men and women who succeeded have achieved many accomplishments and a place in history, but multitudinous men have failed wretchedly. The world is not in balance if it is not fully exercised or when it is over exercised. The people who possess this skill are believed to be better that the rest, but they must also willing to serve others not for personal gain but to command a group or a team in the right the direction. They are supposed to be inspirational, because the people they guide look up to them when in conflict with their thoughts. They are supposed to be open-minded and be willing to change their ideas when new and better ones are presented. Although it seems as easy as falling off a log, many scholars have argued over time and none of them has been able to come with one idea that explains this skill and is universally accepted, however, there many theories that can be used to explain it, and it is up to one with a curious mind to find one of the theories that he/she agrees on. **Ok, good attention grabbing beginning here. As the reader I am trying to discover what you are writing about and I don't discover what that is in this first paragraph. The thesis is the part of the paper that does this for the reader. So, what I think you need to think about is putting in a thesis that lets the reader know that you are discussing "leadership'. One way to think about how you should write the thesis is thinking about it as a sort of map for the paper. In other words, it should mention what each of the other paragraphs is going to talk about. Or the ways that you intend to talk about leadership. (Send me some drafts of a thesis, if you need more help with this)**

Leadership is the ability to get people to follow your lead. It is a persons ability to manage, lead, guide, control, or influence people. (Dictionary) Leadership is the design, creation, and management of group actions that direct the combined efforts and ideas of individuals in a group that a lead is leading. 'Leadership is understanding people and involving them to help you do a job.' Arleigh Burke. **(Ok, great, I am glad to see you getting the sources in here, let me know if you have questions about how to cite, or if your teacher wants you to do it a certain way. What is most important is that you are citing, worry about the how later)** Leadership is service, in the sense that it seeks to meet the needs of another or of the group by performing needed functions. (Anthony D'Souza) When a group has lost a sense of direction, purpose, and goals, then leadership with strong power is needed to encourage them and return them on the line. However, when a group has a strong sense of direction and goals that need to be accomplished, then non-directing style of leadership is needed.

Leadership can not exist without leaders. If a person has the desire and will power, he or she can become an effective leader. Leaders are 'willing to put their heart and soul making their team and organization successful'. (Eric Brown) Good leaders develop through a never ending process of self-study, education, training, and experience. Leaders are seen as good and evil, and take on many personalities. **(This previous sentence might work well as a new topic sentence for the beginning of a new paragraph)** A good leader must have interpersonal skill ,values, organizational consciousness, confidence, flexibility, creativity skills, and achieving results. A leader sees the big picture, and understands the purpose of the work of a group or organization. Leaders are concerned about the people he/she leads and always listens to their ideas and give them the best of advice he can offer.

Some of the theories that scholars have been able to come up with on leadership include; Personnally, I think some people inherit some qualities from their parents and their surrounding environment, and others aren't born with any of leadership qualities but learn through exprience and training.
 * 1) Trait Theory which states that people are either born or not born with leadership qualities, these qualities are inherited, cognitive and personality.
 * 2) Skills Theory states that learned knowledge and acquired skills/ abilities are significant factors in the practice on effective leaderhip.
 * 3) Situational Theory which suggests that different situations require different styles of leadership
 * 4) Contingency Theory states that a leader's effectiveness is contingent on how well the leader's style matches a specific situation.
 * 5) Path-Goal Theory states that effective leaders have the ability to improve the motivation of followers
 * 6) Transformational Theory states that leadership is the process by which a person engages with others and is able to create a connection that results in increaded motivation and morality in both followers and leaders
 * 7) Transactional Theory focuses on the exchanges that take place between leaders and followers
 * 8) Servant leadership Theory states that leaders should be servants first.

I am still working on the conclusion because I am not sure that the theories i stated should be explained more and i don't know whether i should write more on my personal opinion about these theories. Also on the second para. I fell there is something missing but I can't grasp it. I am also not sure whether i the third para. is supposed to be there because of the topic? Thanks again for your critics, they definitely helped me think more about my position, more will be appriciated.

Thanks again for your time, Liliane


 * Liliane,**


 * My apologies for a later response, I just got home from that conference I went to! Anyhow- I am pleased to see you addressed my main concern- citing!**
 * Further, you have paved yourself an excellent road for this paper. A few ideas I have for you:**
 * 1. Read the paper aloud to try to catch some superficial typos (namely, the first paragraph, I counted just a couple- they are simply typos, that you will find when you proofread carefully, which is something we all should do)**
 * 2. Think about how you will discover your thesis- later, we discover that you are talking about "leadership" but it will add clarity to your paper for the reader if we can see this is the first paragraph.**
 * 3. The topic sentence is the first sentence of a paragraph, and this sentence should also direct the reader about what the paragraph is to be about-- look at each one of your first sentences- does it tell the reader exactly what the paragraph below it says?**
 * 4. Pick out 2 or 3 or maybe even 4 aspects of leadership that you really want to discuss and make those your paragraphs, for example: what is a good leader or "**Leadership can not exist without leaders" **or the theories that you list. With the extensive list of theories that you have, you might even consider making that what your paper is about and using the discussion of each as your body paragraphs? Or maybe you could combine what you think a good leader is with which kinds of those techniques and theories they use.**
 * 5. The conclusion. I know you are working on this- but keep in mind, the conclusion should remind the reader what you have just discussed (a restatement of your thesis) and maybe why your topic is important**


 * Again, do feel free to ask specific questions, and happy writing!**
 * -Shaina**
 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">FINAL - Definition ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 02.02.11; **171** due 02.04.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

Leaders & Leadership

Leadership is the ability to get people to follow your lead. It is a persons ability to manage, lead, guide, control, or influence people.(Dictionary) Leadership is the design,creation, and management of group actions that direct the combined efforts and ideas of individuals in a group that a leader is leading.'Leadership is understanding people and involving them to help you do a job.' Arleigh Burke. Leadership is service, in the sense that it seeks to meet the needs of another or of the group by performing needed functions. (Anthony D'Souza) when a group has lost a sense of direction, purpose, and goals, then leadership with strong power is needed to encourage them and return them on the line. However, when a group has strong sense of direction and goals that need to be accomplished, then non-directing style of leadership is needed. Leadership can not exist without leaders. If a person has the desire and will power, he or she can become an effective leader. Leaders are 'willing to put their heart and soul making their team and organization successful' (Eric Brown) Good leaders develop through a never ending process of self-study, eduction, training, and experience. A good leader must have interpersonal skills, values, organizational consciousness, confidence, flexibility, creativity skills, and achieving results. A leader sees the big picture, and understands the purpose of the work of a group or organization. Leaders are concerned about the people they lead and always listen to their ideas and give them the best of advice he can offer. To be a leader, one must have knowledge of oneself that derives from a considerable amount of time having been given to critical self- reflection, introspection, the honest search for authenticity, and more often that not, one must have learned a great deal from significant life challenges, trials by fire have taught them self-mastery. This self-knowledge is sometimes made evident in the peaceful well-being, quiet security, integrity, and confidence one senses in their presence, even in a crisis when others have lost hope and direction, they remain centered with a knowing grounded in something beyond what appears. Some leadership qualities are inherited while others are learned. Good leaders are made not born, though those born with leadership qualities can learn from training and experience and become better leaders. Natural born leaders have a yearning to influence others, they are extremely persistence even in situation that others have given up on. One can inherit intelligence, but one can also learn and gain intelligence. A leader doesn't need to have a doctoral to be considered a leader, but he or she must have a sense and knowledge of what he or she is talking about. Depending on what the situation is, a leader needs to apply different style to guide the people he or she is leading. For example, in a basketball players choose their captain based on how good he plays, the players never consider how good a leader the chosen captain is, but they consider his attitude towards fellow players and how hard he works to be better. However, in a business setting, a leader is chosen based on his intelligence on his ability to lead. Leaders are able to connect to their followers, and the followers should be able to relate and respect their leaders. The followers should be able to contribute to the group, and the lead should be able to think of many situation at once so that he or she can come up with new and different idea. Good leaders don't put themselves higher than their followers, instead they try to put themselves in the same situation as the people they are leading. In conclusion, a person who has the ability to lead, guide, control, and influence other people is a leader. However, they are good leader and evil leaders, and it is up to the people who are going to be represented by that leader to choose wisely. A good leader should always be seeking out ways and forms to improve his leadership, without waiting to be told to do so.


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">REFLECTION #1 ****<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 02.08.11; **171** due 02.11.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Roosevelt Student: 8-L.I. Reflection I feel like I improved on my citing, although I am currently not doing it correctly, but I am working on that. I think I got an idea on how I should present my ideas without writing too much stuff that might be off topic and can confuse my audience. It helped that I had someone I could trust to judge my essay honestly then tell me what I should do to improve. I think i need more help with diction and styles I can use for my organization. I am so sorry you did not get a chance to write your reflection!! (it is my teacher's idea to write this!)


 * Liliane,**
 * I agree that your citing improved from the first draft to the last, but there seemed to be other areas that were still left without citations that needed to have them. Do you think you'd be willing to sit down with Ms. Lange to get a little more direction with this for future papers? I would also be happy to talk to you about it (when do you guys come again?) But I am glad to hear it is in the works! Next, I think that diction is often something that writers are conscience of, and a****s for YOUR diction, I think that, really, it is at a good level. Using words that do not fit with your style can also be a distraction for the reader, so, as a suggestion, consider placing focus on diction on the back burner. (I mean it is nice to have fine and impressive language for the reader to enjoy, but this should come secondary to organization) For your next drafts then, let's make sure we continue to look at your style and organization. Did you discover anything new about leadership in the process of writing this piece?**

Hey Liliane. How ya doin? I was hoping you'd be able to get a draft up for this essay (classification/division) before Wednesday, since you guys are supposed to come that day. Will you be able to make it in, btw? I know you couldn't last time. I hope you can, I want to meet you! But ya, let me know how this new one is comin and I will talk to you soon,
 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Rough Draft - Classification/Division ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 02.16.11; **171** due 02.18.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

The people of Africa

It is widely believed that the ancestors of modern man came from Africa. African continent is full of diverse cultures, people of different ethnic groups who speak different languages. About a third of these people are fully African, while the remaining contains people from all over the world who migrated there, they include; the Arabs, who live in the north of the continent, and the European who came in Africa through colonialism. The different ethnics are; the Bantu, the Berbers, the Arabs, the Cushites, the Nilotes, and the indigenous people. The Bantus are mostly found in central, southern, and Eastern parts of Africa. There is around 60 million Bantu people in Africa, and they can be traced back to civilization. The Bantu started migrating from North African around 1000BC, the migration continued until the 3rd or 4th century. The reason for their migration was because of overpopulation, lack of fertile land, and conflict within themselves. Today Bantu people are divided into three categorize; the eastern, the western, and the southern. The eastern Bantus live in Uganda, Kenya, Tanzania, Rwanda, Burundi, DRC and part of Cameroon. The southern Bantus live in the southern countries and the western live in the south of the Sahara desert. The Bantu people brought agricultural to the places where they settled.

The Berbers and Arabs have many similarities and differences. They all share the same religion, Islam. They all speak Arabic but some Berbers also speak their ancient language. The Berbers have lived in Northern Africa since the earliest recorded time, they live in mountains and desert. The Arabs invaded the Berbery territory and drove them westwards to Atlas mountains. Today they live in the Sahara desert and the horn of Africa.

The Cushites and Nilotes are similar to Bantus except that they rare animals and lead a nomadic life.They also migrated from North Africa along the Bantus, they settled in eastern and central Africa along the Rift Valley because of fertile grazing land for their domestics. Today they can be found in Eastern Africa.

The indigenous people are people who originate in a particular location and have characteristics of a particular region. The indigenous people of Africa can be found in eastern, central and southern parts of Africa. These people include the Khoisan or the Bushmen of southern Africa, the Pygmies of central Africa. Although they were not very well known during the colonial period, the states of Africa and the international community has recognized these people as indigenous.

The Bantus, the Berbers and Arabs, the Cushites and Nilotes, and the indigenous people are among the ethnics that make up Africa. Some of them are natives of Africa, while others migrated to Africa by trade and other different reasons. Each of the ethnic group consist of tribes that count to a thousand and each tribe has its unique language, but they all have one language to which they use to commicate with each other.

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I am still researching on the topic so some information might be missing. But i did not want to write about all the african ethnic groups although i am not sure whether that is a good idea. If you remember, i told i was from Rwanda so, some of the info is what i was taught in school. I feel that my thesis is not good but i don't know whether it should be just like any normal thesis. See you tomorrow!
 * Liliane- I can really appreciate that you have chosen to write about something that relates to you personally. I can see that you have put some thought and research into this already. Further, I think that this is a great topic, because many people (here) will be largely uneducated about these peoples and regions, thus, it allows for freedom for you to decide precisely what you'd like to talk about. Since we'll be meeting in class today, I want to talk about other ideas we come up with and then come back to this first draft. Thanks for getting it up and I look forward to seeing you soon!-Shaina**


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;"> ﻿ Revision - Classification/Division ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 02.23.11; **171** due 02.25.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

The people of Africa

It is widely believed that the ancestors of modern man came from Africa. African continent is full of diverse cultures, people of different ethnic groups who speak different languages. About a third of these people are fully African, while the remaining contains people from all over the world who migrated there, they include; the Arabs, who live in the north of the continent, and the European who came in Africa through colonialism. The different ethnics**(ethnicities- im adding little corrections here and there since you guys asked me to)** are; the Bantu, the Berbers, the Arabs, the Cushites, the Nilotes, and the indigenous people.

The Bantus are mostly found in central, southern, and Eastern parts of Africa.**(Good, from you first paragraph, I was expecting you to talk about this first)** There is around 60 million Bantu people in Africa, and they can be traced back to civilization.**(I'm unsure what you mean by "civilization" like- what civilization, or when etc)** The Bantu started migrating from North African around 1000BC, the migration continued until the 3rd or 4th century. They settled in West Africa for a while until 4000 years ago when they started moving south. The reason **(s)** for their migration was **(were)** because of overpopulation, lack of fertile land, and conflict within themselves. After the migration, the Bantu people ruled most of the kingdoms in east, central, and south Africa. Kingship was often regarded as divine, but overtime the Bantu developed a more collective understanding of leadership. The king was advised not only by elders, but by a meeting of all members of a group, which could question anyone accused of a crime and have a say in how those found guilty should be punished. They tended to be highly resourceful and adaptable. New tribes between the Bantu people were formed when inter-marriage occurred between two tribes. The Bantu people developed new way of farming and metalwork, and this enabled them to expand all over Africa. Today Bantu people are divided into three categorize; the eastern, the western, and the southern. The eastern Bantus live in Uganda, Kenya, Tanzania, Rwanda, Burundi, DRC and part of Cameroon. The southern Bantus live in the southern countries and the western live in the south of the Sahara desert. The Bantu expansion across Africa has left behind a significant linguistic legacy, so that over the whole continent Bantu languages are the lingua-franca. **(think about adding a transition sentence here that mentions what you'll be talking about next- the Berbers and Arabs, something like: In addition to the Bantus, other peoples such as the Berbers and Arabs occupy regions... or however, there are certainly other ways to do it!)**

The Berbers and Arabs have many similarities and differences. They all share the same religion, Islam. They all speak Arabic but some Berbers also speak their ancient language. The Berbers are the descendents of the pre-Arab populations of North Africa from the Egyptian frontier to the Atlantic and from the Mediterranean coast to the Niger River. The Berbers people are thought to have moved into North Africa, probably from the Near East, before 2000 B.C.E. Despite the appearance of the two significant Berber dynasties, the Almoravid and the Almohad, the Berbers could never unite long enough to defend themselves from numerous attacks by the Arabs. Some tribes are nomads while the majority of Berbers are farmers. The Berbers live mainly in Morocco and in Algeria, as well as Libya and Tunisia though exact statistics **(statistics on what? or do you mean just other information on them?)** are unavailable.

The Cushites and Nilotes are similar to Bantus except that they rare animals and lead a nomadic life. They also migrated from North Africa along the Bantus, they settled in eastern and central Africa along the Rift Valley because of fertile grazing land for their domestics. Today they can be found in Eastern Africa. **(this section, actually, might follow your first paragraph about the Bantus really well, since you discuss the Bantus here too)**

The indigenous people of Africa are people from the African region whose way of life, attachment or claims to particular lands, and social and political way standing in relation to other more dominant groups have resulted in their substantial marginalisation within modern African states. **(important! since this is a direct quote it needs to be in quotation marks! :) I will talk about citing again at the end of paper)** The indigenous people of Africa can be found in eastern, central and southern parts of Africa. These people include the Khoisan or the Bushmen of southern Africa, the Pygmies of central Africa. Although they were not very well known during the colonial period, the states of Africa and the international community has recognized these people as indigenous.

The Bantus, the Berbers and Arabs, the Cushites and Nilotes, and the indigenous people are among the ethnics that make up Africa. Some of them are natives of Africa, while others migrated to Africa by trade and other different reasons. Each of the ethnic group consist of tribes that count to a thousand and each tribe has its unique language, but all the tribes have a common African language in which they can use for communication with different tribes. **(ok, good, you some up the different groups again, but I don't remember you talking about the "common African" language above? maybe talk about this, and say which language it is when you talk about language and the different groups in the body paragraphs)** **Liliane:**

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 * I will mention again, how great and useful I think that it is to have chosen a topic that relates to you. I think that the majority of your audience will not be informed about the information you present, so I think that gives you much freedom to decide what to discuss about each group and still have it be informative. Next, I want to talk about your syntax and organization and present an idea to you: After meeting you in class, I was able to hear you speak and listen to your accent. You mentioned how you don't think in English and I think that gives you a valuable skill of having an actual, literal unique voice in your work- at times I felt like I was able to hear your accent in this paper- like in the beginning when you write "ethnics" instead of "ethnicities". I know that you may feel as though you cannot "get away" with this kind of "incorrectness" in school now, but someday you will have more credential and freedom to write how you'd like- so don't push out your native voice too much! And lastly- you need to get your sources into the paper! For future reference, try to just jot down the source after anything that you use- right into the paper. It is more difficult to wade through it all later and try to figure out what you got from where. I can see you did a lot of research for this paper- so I'll expect that there will be many citations that need to be added. I look forward to seeing your final draft! Talk soon- Shaina**

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I reseached for more info. although i could not find that many for the cushites, the sentences may not seem to be organized because i focused on getting the info first then writting the ones i confident with. if you can help with sytanx and organization, it will be greatly appriciated. also put out words that don't seem to belong where they are. thanks again.
 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">FINAL - Classification/Division ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 03.01.11; **171** due 03.04.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">REFLECTION #2 ****<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 03.22.11; **171** due 03.25.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Rough Draft - Argument ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 03.30.11; **171** due 04.01.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Revision (1) - Argument ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 04.05.11; **171** due 04.08.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Revision (2) - Argument ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 04.13.11; **171** due 04.15.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">FINAL - Argument ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 04.19.11; **171** due 04.22.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">REFLECTION #3 ****<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 04.25.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **