Jenna+DeLong+8+--+R.H.

Final Draft of Argument Essay.
 * way to go Becky! It has been a lot of fun working with you this semester, you are a hard worker, so that made my job a lot easier! keep up the good work, you will get into the school that is right for you! keep drake in mind also!!!**
 * this final draft has come a long way from your first one. i like that you developed your argument to include the women's rights part that was very powerful. i feel you could have added more into the opposing argument of this particular topic maybe about the resistance that was felt about NATO's entrance into afghan, but overall this essay is well organized and thought out. i am however glad you didnt add the parts about more crime to women, good choice! Paragraph's 5 and 6's introductions** "In addition, NATO..." and "Furthermore NATO..." **could be revised to be as strong as your other intros. The revisions to your conclusions are well thought out, I like the change in sentence structure and how you vary them better! i am glad you feel comfortable working outside the 5 paragraph essay now, and think you can take even further steps in this direction, when you feel ready.**
 * i am glad you stuck with your topic this whole semester, i would encourage you to make a stronger case for 'quality of life' instead of NATO's accomplishments if you were to do this whole essay over again, because this essay seems to be all about how NATO has transformed afghan, which is a great argument and you make that argument well. so, if you wanted to do quality of life you would need more compare and contrast with afghan and other countries i believe. your comparing of afghan before and after NATO centers your argument around NATO and afghan, which is a valid argument and you make it well.**
 * i hope you enjoy the rest of jr year, i really enjoyed working with you. youre an exceptionally talented writer!!!**
 * thanks again,**
 * jenna**

Jenna, Thanks so much for your help throughout this semester. Good luck playing softball over seas! Becky

Becky Hall Ms. Lange AP Language and Composition 20 April, 2010 One Thousand Years of Progress in Nine Years

A tiny village sits in the middle of the desert. Only one road leads up to it, packed down by the wear and travel of donkeys’ feet. As the sun sets on the sandy skyline, darkness engulfs the village; the nearest electrical lines are over a hundred miles away, and none of them reach the village. No cell phones, no technology, no knowledge of anything in the outside world. Does this sound like the twelfth century? This, unfortunately, was the situation that the majority of Afghan people faced just ten years ago, prior to the invasion by foreign armies. After the 9-11 attack on the United States, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, partner with the United States and their allies, sent hundreds of thousands of troops into Afghanistan, to overthrow the Taliban and help the Afghani people. While the process of overall improvement within the country has taken over ten years to develop, an exasperate amount of controversy surrounds NATO’s involvement in the lives of Afghanistan’s people. Improving the lives of Afghani citizens, involves two areas of analysis: infrastructure and women’s rights. By improving these different areas within the country, quality of life, or subject-life satisfaction as the Economist explained, rose dramatically (Economist). When carefully examining the issue of NATO involvement in Afghanistan, it is clear that through relief and humanitarian efforts, NATO has improved the lives of Afghani citizens.

Government infrastructure prior to NATO invasion in 2001 was nearly non-existent. The Taliban ruled selective swaths of the country. They treated women with no respect or regard. Strictly enforcing Islamic law, the Taliban became feared and known for their barbaric punishments for those who violated the Koran. An 18-year old Afghan girl, after fleeing from her abusive parents, was sentenced by a Taliban leader who demanded her ears and nose be cut off (Weekly Standard). Furthermore, under Taliban rule “a person found resisting the government can face public hanging by a slow-rising crane. . . theft is reprimanded by amputation of hands or arms. . . the Taliban government has no distinct legislative and executive bodies, but rules through councils composed of Muslim clerics. These clerics issue decrees formulated behind closed doors and punish disobedience with death” (Azzi). Since their invasion, NATO has worked tirelessly to create and nurture the new government structure. Drafted with the help of NATO, the Afghan government wrote a new constitution for the country, which included rights for women, and humane punishments for criminals. However, many experts argue that NATO’s involvement within the country directly correlates to the rise in the country’s crime rates. These rates slightly increased because the presence of NATO provides the services that allow for the reporting of crimes to officials. Crime engulfed the region during Taliban rule, but the crime rates were not reported or recorded. Administering swift, brutal, and inhumane punishments to those who violated Islamic Law, the Taliban administered unjustifiable punishments, which often included death. On the other hand, NATO, since their invasion, fervently worked alongside the Afghan government to create a system that administers humane punishments to those who violate the new constitution. By NATO helping overthrow an abusive and inhumane government that oppressed their people, and by instilling trust into the people by creating a force credible enough to report crimes to, the lives of the Afghani people improved.

Under Taliban rule, Afghanistan had nearly a nonexistent police force. This created some problems. First, the Taliban served as the sole enforcer and creator of law. Second, the enforcement of Islamic law lacked any sort of consistency. One of NATO’s top goals was to create and train a police force for the Afghan government. However, since NATO’s involvement, a “training command was created nine months ago to jump-start flagging efforts to create a reliable army and police force.” By fall of 2011, NATO predicts the Afghan army will be over “300,000 strong”, growing a staggering 250 percent since Taliban rule (Tilghman). In addition to helping build the police force, NATO has spent thousands of dollars and years of work to help the Afghani people hold the first democratic elections the country has seen (Boone). The Taliban never allowed elections, and ruled with a solid dictatorship. David North, a writer for the International Committee of the Fourth International explained in August of 2009 that the elections held in Afghanistan were saturated with corruption, and illegitimacy. However, prior to NATO’s invasion, a democratic election would have been utterly improbable and impossible. Democracy allows the people of Afghanistan to elect their officials, and idea the Taliban oppressed. Through their humanitarian relief efforts, NATO has given a voice to the voiceless in terms of democratic elections; people’s input and voice matter in the future of their government and leaders. The country’s newly formed internal infrastructure is working towards an election free of corrupt, something that the Taliban neither desired nor strived to obtain.

With the new government, came a new constitution. The new constitution, drafted in 2003, “declares Afghanistan as an ‘Islamic Republic’ and ‘Islam’ as the new official state religion.” This new constitution allows for the freedom of religions within the certain boundaries. “Political parties who run for office or governing the country must be in line with this provision [of following Islam]” (The Other Side). During Taliban rule, they ruthlessly enforced Islamic Law based from the Koran. They believed their religion superseded all others, and their country was united through their similar religious beliefs. While helping Afghanistan build internal infrastructure, NATO helped to form a constitution that allows, to some degree, freedom of religion, although the Islamic faith still heavily influences the region. Even though Afghanistan does not allow for complete freedom of religion, they are taking steps in the right direction under NATO’s guidance.

In addition, NATO helped develop physical infrastructure within the country; they helped build roads, electrical lines, and medical clinics. With these roads and electrical lines, the Afghan people gain the ability to travel, trade, and communicate not only with the people in their country but the world. These roads and electrical lines pull the people of Afghanistan into the twenty-first century. “NATO and U.S. forces spent $14 billion in fiscal 2009 on contracts in Afghanistan to improve roads, power sources, commercial infrastructure, water, medical clinic availability and security” ( Brodsky). Since NATO’s involvement, they helped to revolutionize the country with technology. “Telephone usage has increased dramatically to an estimated seven million Afghans, up from just one million in 2002” (Campbell, O’Hanlon). In addition, they helped to build roads, something that the Taliban never did for the people. Afghanistan now has “ 42 ,150 km”  of roads in their country, significantly more than they had under Taliban rule (CIA Factbook). Medical resources in Afghanistan during Taliban rule were nearly nonexistent. However, NATO worked tirelessly to improve medical conditions in the country. Today, approximately “Eighty-two percent of the population now living in districts [that NATO controls] have a basic package of heath care programs, up considerably from 9 percent in 2003” ( Campbell, O’Hanlon). The availability of health care grew seventy-two percent in six years. Healthcare, partnered alongside of the revolutionary modernization of the country with electrical, communication and transportation because of NATO’s efforts have bolstered the quality of life for Afghan citizens.

Furthermore NATO helped improve literacy rates in adults and children alike by building schools. No longer is Afghanistan a country living in darkness and isolation. These schools allow for the education for the younger generation, which under Taliban rule was solely awarded young men, and even then, the schools only taught Islamic law. The higher the degree of education, the better paying job an individual can secure. “More than six million children currently attend over 9,000 schools. . . students are girls and 40,000 of the 142,000 teachers are women” (Campbell, O’Hanlon). Under Taliban rule, they did not allow women to attend school (Morse). However, NATO did not stop at educating just young citizens. They help adults learn to read. Lt. General Williams, head of the NATO-led efforts to train the Afghan national security forces “hired a thousand literate Afghans to help that country’s soldiers learn to read. About 27,000 Afghan police and army recruits are now taking literacy courses” (Tilghman). While the literacy rates still remain low for the adults within Afghanistan, NATO provides them with the opportunity to learn how to read and write, something which the Taliban never offered. Knowing how to read and write opens the door to higher paying jobs, which help support a family. Afghanistan finds itself climbing out of the twelfth century and into today’s modern world.

NATO’s crowning and arguably the most significant influence in Afghanistan, was the improvement for women’s rights in Afghanistan. Under the Taliban rule, women had no rights. A woman’s parents chose her husband-to-be, and after marriage, under Taliban rule, could legally be raped and physically beaten by her husband. The Taliban believed women were property and not equal human beings. After the fall of the Taliban in 2001, NATO helped draft and institute a new constitution; adopted in 2003 that states, “The citizens of Afghanistan – whether man or woman – have equal rights or duties before the law” (Qazi). The police force NATO is helping to train and build enforces this radical constitution. With the increase in police force and rights for women, many assert are responsible for the rise in rapes reported to the police since 2001. This rise in reported rapes is solely because women now have a legitimate police force and government they trust to report crimes to. Under the Taliban’s rule, if a woman was raped, it was rarely reported to any member of the Taliban. Most of the rapes involved a family member or friend, and since the Taliban’s punishment for rape was death, their family member or friend would be slaughtered. The women trust the government officials to administrate fair punishments, and trust them enough to report violent crimes to, which demonstrates a significant step forward for the rights of women.

In Afghanistan today, women hold many jobs they were not allowed to hold during Taliban rule, such as teaching, parliament members, and medical jobs. Out of the one hundred and forty thousand teaching jobs within Afghanistan, women currently hold forty thousand of them (Campbell, O’Hanlon). These teaching jobs range from elementary to secondary education. With the rise of schools, and education NATO is helping with, the need for female teachers will increase. In last year’s parliamentary elections, “A record number of women are running in Afghanistan's critical parliamentary elections next month” (Boone). One of the women running for Parliament, Robnia Mugimyar Jalalai, describes the drastic increase of women’s rights, “I go running in the stadium where the Taliban used to play football with women’s heads. . . if the Taliban come back I will lose everything that I have gained over the past nine years” (Baker). The Taliban forbid women to hold jobs in a leadership role, because to them, women were only property and not equal human beings. However, as NATO’s presence and direct involvement engulfed the country, the government’s views on women’s rights completely changed. Women are no longer traded for food, like they were in the northern districts of Afghanistan; they now hold powerful positions in the newly formed democratic government. Women can now work in the medical profession, which arguably represents the greatest increase in women’s rights. Women, under Taliban rule, could only receive treatment from a female doctor. Since the Taliban allowed for almost no female doctors during their oppressive rule, many women could not seek the medical attention they needed. However NATO worked to provide more freedoms for women regarding job professions. Now, women are allowed to receive treatment from male doctors, and furthermore are allowed to attend medical school. NATO has clearly helped bolster the movement for women’s job rights and opportunities in Afghanistan, and improved their lives.

The Taliban strictly enforced Islamic law, which left no room for negotiation or mistakes from its people. Since NATO’s invasion into the country in October of 2001, they worked tirelessly to improve the lives of the Afghani people in hundreds of different ways, two of the most important are: infrastructure and women’s rights. Through physical infrastructure improvement, NATO has re-built the country from the ground up, modernizing it with telephone use, electrical lines, and roads. These in turn, helped pull the country out of the twelfth century and into today’s modern world. Furthermore, NATO helped Afghanistan draft and implement a new constitution, providing equal rights to men and women, closing the books on harsh and cruel punishments for criminals, and creating a society with more freedom of religion; many of these new laws and regulations are enforced by the police force trained and built by NATO. When NATO worked to open schools and educate not only children, but women and men, they provided the tools for the members of Afghanistan’s society to reach their full potential in their newly modernized world. By dramatically improving women’s rights, women are no longer traded for food, but instead, treated as equal members of society. Women hold seats in parliament, work in the medical profession and teach Afghanistan’s future generations, all of which the Taliban forbade and oppressed. Since NATO invaded Afghanistan in October of 2001, they have helped pull a country out of the twelfth century, into today’s world and completely change the way their society functioned for the better, something the Taliban simply never attempted. Resources Used "Afghanistan's New Constitution Hinders Freedom of Religion." //The Other Side//. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. . Azzi, Pierre. "Harsh Rule — Recognizing the Taliban | Harvard International Review." //Harvard// //International Review | Harvard's Premier Journal of International Affairs//. Spring 1999. Web. 03 Apr. 2011.  Baker, Aryn. "Afgan Women and the Return of the Taliban." //Time//. Time Magazine, 329 July 2010. Web. 3 Apr. 2011. . Boone, Jon. "Afghan Elections Marred by Violence but Pronounced a Success | World News | Guardian.co.uk." //Latest News, Comment and Reviews from the Guardian | Guardian.co.uk//. 18 Sept. 2010. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. . Boone, Jon. "Afghan Elections: Record Number of Women Stand for Parliament | World News | The Guardian." //Latest News, Comment and Reviews from the Guardian | Guardian.co.uk//. 24 Aug. 2010. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. . Brodsky, Robert. "Commanders Urged to Think Local in Afghan Contracting (9/13/10) – GovExec.com." //Government News and Events for Federal Employees -- GovExec.com//. 13 Sept. 2010. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. . "CIA - The World Factbook." //Welcome to the CIA Web Site — Central Intelligence Agency//. 22 Mar. 2011. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. . "The Economist Intelligence Unit’s Quality-of-life Index." //The Economist//. Web. 30 Jan. 2010. . Halper, Daniel. "Taliban Brutality | The Weekly Standard." //The Weekly Standard | A Weekly// //Conservative Magazine and Blog of News and Opinion.// 7 July 2010. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. . Michael, O'Hanlon E., and Shapiro Jeremy. "How to Measure the War." //Brookings//. Oct.-Nov. 2009. Web. 3 Apr. 2011. . Morse, Jane. "U.S. Plan Would Help Afghan Women Build Better Lives." //America - Engaging the World –// //America.gov//. 02 Feb. 2010. Web. 10 Apr. 2011. . Norland, Rod. "Http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/05/world/asia/05afghan.html."// New York Times//. 4// // Apr. 2010. Web. 3 Apr. 2011. . // //North, David. "A Corrupt Election in Afghanistan."// World Socialist Web Site//. 10 Aug. 2009.// // Web. 03 Apr. 2011. . // //Tilghman, Andrew. "U.S. Targets Illiteracy among Afghan Forces - Army News | News from Afghanistan// // & Iraq - Army Times." //Army News, Benefits, Careers, Entertainment, Photos, Promotions - Army Times HOME//. 6 Sept. 2010. Web. 10 Apr. 2011.// //Qazi, Abdullah. "The Plight of the Afghan Woman."// Afghanistan Online//. 09 Dec. 2010. Web. 03 Apr.// // 2011. . //

//**GOOD WORK BECKY! I LIKE WHAT YOU HAVE CHANGED YOU DID A NICE JOB OF INCORPORTING DIFFERENT SENTENCE LENGTHS AND VARIATIONS. I ALSO APPRECIATED YOUR ATTENTION TO DICTION! GOOD WORK! YOU ARE ALMOST DONEEEE!!! I HOPE THIS LAST REVISION GOES SMOOTHLY. IT HAS BEEN SO NICE WORKING WITH YOU, GOOD LUCK BREAKING ALL THE RULES :) ALSO, LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING OR ANY ADVICE.**// //**JENNA**// //**"second draft" of the argument essay.**//

//Hey Jenna,// //Here's the "second draft" (ms. lange said that's what it was, so I guess I counted wrong.) Anyway, if you could possibly point out any areas where i could drastically improve my diction, and my syntax, that would be super awesome!// //Thanks for your feed back today!// //becky//

//Becky Hall// //Mrs. Lange// //AP Language and Composition// //11 April 2010//

Clash between Tradition and Modernization

//A tiny village sits in the middle of the desert. Only one road leads up to it, packed down by the wear and travel of donkeys’ feet. As the sun sets on the sandy skyline, darkness engulfs the village; the nearest electrical lines are over a hundred miles away, and none of them reach the village. No cell phones, no technology, no knowledge of anything in the outside world. Does this sound like the twelfth century? This, unfortunately, was the situation that the majority of Afghan people faced just ten years ago, prior to the invasion by foreign armies. After the 9-11 attack on the United States, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, partner with the United States and their allies, sent hundreds of thousands of troops into Afghanistan, to overthrow the Taliban and help the Afghani people. While the process of overall improvement within the country has taken over ten years, a exasperate amount of controversy surrounds NATO’s involvement in the lives of Afghanistan’s people. Improving the lives of Afghani citizens, involves several areas of research, but most specifically: all areas of infrastructure and women’s rights. By improving these different areas of analysis, quality of life, or subject-life satisfaction as the Economist explained, rises dramatically (Economist). When carefully examining the issue of NATO involvement in Afghanistan, it is clear that through relief and humanitarian efforts, NATO has improved the lives of Afghani citizens. GOOD DICTION HERE I FELT VERY CONNECTED TO YOUR 'ANECDOTE.'//

//Government infrastructure prior to NATO invasion in 2001 was nearly non-existent. The Taliban ruled parts of the country, but nobody really knew which land they controlled, and which they did not. Those vast parts of the country the Taliban had no control over, were ruled by ruthless warlords. They treated the men with little respect and the women with none. Strictly enforcing Islamic law, the Taliban became feared and known for their barbaric punishments for those who violated the Koran. An 18-year old Afghan girl, after fleeing from her abusive parents, was sentenced by a Taliban leader who demanded her ears and nose be cut off (Weekly Standard). Furthermore, under Taliban rule “a person found resisting the government can face public hanging by a slow-rising crane. . . Theft is reprimanded by amputation of hands or arms. . .the Taliban government has no distinct legislative and executive bodies, but rules through councils composed of Muslim clerics. These clerics issue decrees formulated behind closed doors and punish disobedience with death” (Azzi). Since NATO’s invasion of Afghanistan, the country’s crime rates slightly increased. The crime rates increased only because the presence of NATO allows for crimes to actually be reported. Crime engulfed the region during Taliban rule, but the crime rates were not reported or recorded. Administering swift, brutal, and inhumane punishments to those who violated Islamic Law, the Taliban administered unjustifiable punishments. On the other hand, NATO, since their invasion, has worked alongside the Afghan government to create a system that administers humane punishments to those who violate the new constitution. By NATO helping overthrow an abusive and inhumane government that oppressed their people, and by instilling trust into the people by creating a force credible to report crimes to, the lives of the Afghani people improved. AGAIN I LIKE YOUR WORD CHOICE IN THIS PARAGRAPH!//

// Under Taliban rule, Afghanistan had nearly a nonexistent police force. This created a couple problems. First, the Taliban served as the sole enforcer and creator of law. Second, the enforcement of Islamic law lacked any sort of consistency. One of NATO’s top goals was to create and train a police force for the Afghan government. However, since NATO’s involvement, a “training command was created nine months ago to jump-start flagging efforts to create a reliable army and police force.” By fall of 2011, NATO predicts the Afghan army will be over 300,000 strong, growing a staggering 250 percent since Taliban rule (Tilghman). In addition to helping build the police force, NATO has worked alongside the Afghani people to hold four democratic elections since their invasion (Boone). Before NATO presence, democratic elections in Afghanistan were inconceivable and never held. HOW EXACTLY WERE THE ELECTIONS HELD BEFORE NATO? WHAT ABOUT THE ELECTIONS WERE CORRUPT? MIGHT ADD HERE A LITTLE BIT MORE DETAIL ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE ELECTIONS WERE NOT DEMOCRATIC BUT INSTEAD THEY WERE CORRUPTED BY THOSE IN A HIGHER CLASS SO THINGS WERE VERY UNFAIR. HERE YOU COULD ASLO USE SHORT CHOPPY SENTENCES TO MAKE THE READER READ A LITTLE FASTER TO DRAW THEIR ATTENTION TO THE SEVERITY OF THE CORRUPT NATION THAT WAS. Although David North, a writer for the International Committee of the Fourth International explained in August of 2009 that the elections held in Afghanistan were saturated with corruption, and illegitimacy, prior to NATO’s invasion, a democratic election would have been utterly improbable and impossible. Democracy allows the people of Afghanistan to elect their officials, AN* idea the Taliban oppressed. In essence, NATO has given a voice to the voiceless in terms of democratic elections; people’s input and voice matter in the future of their government and leaders. The country’s newly formed internal infrastructure is trying to work towards an election free of corrupt, something that the Taliban neither desired nor strived to obtain. //

//With the new government, came a new constitution. The new constitution, drafted in 2003, “declares Afghanistan as an ‘Islamic Republic’ and ‘Islam’ as the new official state religion.” This new constitution allows for the freedom of religions within the certain boundaries. “Political parties who run for office or governing the country must be in line with this provision [of following Islam]” (The Other Side). During Taliban rule, they ruthlessly enforced Islamic Law based from the Koran. They believed their religion superseded all others, GOOD ADDITION and by their country was united through their similar religious beliefs. While helping Afghanistan build internal infrastructure, NATO has helped to form a constitution that allows, to some degree, freedom of religion. This has allowed for the freedom of religion, REPEAT...REWORD THIS A LITTLE BIT AT THE BEGINNING. although the Islamic faith still heavily influences the region. Even though Afghanistan does not allow for complete freedom of religion, they are taking steps in the right direction under NATO’s guidance.//

//In addition, NATO helped develop physical infrastructure within the country; they have helped build roads, electrical lines, and medical clinics. THESE ROADS roads and electrical lines, HAVE HELPED the Afghan people gain the ability to travel, trade, and communicate with the people in their country and the world. In essence, these roads and electrical lines help pull the people of Afghanistan into the twenty first century. “NATO and U.S. forces spent $14 billion in fiscal 2009 on contracts in Afghanistan to improve roads, power sources, commercial infrastructure, water, medical clinic availability and security” ( Brodsky). Since NATO’s involvement, they helped to revolutionize the country with technology. “Telephone usage has increased dramatically to an estimated seven million Afghans, up from just one million in 2002” (Campbell, O’Hanlon). In addition, they helped to build roads, something that the Taliban never did for the people. Afghanistan now has “ 42 ,150 km”  of roads in their country, significantly more than they had under Taliban rule (CIA Factbook). THE LAST TWO SENTENCES SAID THAT SAME THING. WHICH WOULD BE MORE POWERFUL, THE ONE WITH THE STATISTIC OR THE ONE WITHOUT?? Medical resources in Afghanistan during Taliban rule were nearly nonexistent. However, NATO worked tirelessly to improve medical conditions in the country. Today, approximately “Eighty-two percent of the population now living in districts [that NATO controls] have a basic package of heath care programs, up considerably from 9 percent in 2003” ( Campbell, O’Hanlon). The availability of health care grows seventy two percent in six years; partnered alongside of the revolutionary modernization of the country with electrical, communication and transportation, exemplifies how NATO bolstered the quality of life for Afghan citizens. GOOD RE-STRUCTURE TO THIS ENDING! //

// Furthermore NATO helped improve literacy rates in adults and children alike. No longer is Afghanistan a country living in darkness and isolation. These schools allow for the education for the younger generation, which under Taliban rule solely awarded young men with the opportunity to attend religious school. The higher the degree of education, the better paying job an individual can secure. “More than six million children currently attend over 9,000 schools. . . students are girls and 40,000 of the 142,000 teachers are women” (Campbell, O’Hanlon). Under Taliban rule, they did not allow women to attend school (Morse). However, NATO did not stop at educating just students, they help adults learn to read. Lt. General Williams, head of the NATO-led efforts to train the Afghan national security forces “hired a thousand literate Afghans to help that country’s soldiers learn to read. About 27,000 Afghan police and army recruits are now taking literacy courses” (Tilghman). While the literacy rates still remain low for the adults within Afghanistan, NATO provides them with the opportunity to learn how to read and write, something which the Taliban never offered. Knowing how to read and write opens the door to higher paying jobs, which help support a family. Afghanistan finds itself climbing out of the twelfth century and into today’s modern world. AGAIN GOOD REVISION.//

//NATO’s crowning and arguably the most significant influence in Afghanistan, was the improvement for women’s rights in Afghanistan. Under the Taliban rule, women had fewer rights than children. A woman’s parents chose her husband-to-be, and after marriage, under Taliban rule, could legally be raped and physically beaten by her husband. The Taliban believed women were property and not equal human beings. After the fall of the Taliban in 2001, NATO helped draft and institute a new constitution; adopted in 2003 it states “the citizens of Afghanistan – whether man or woman – have equal rights or duties before the law” (Qazi). The police force NATO is helping to train and build enforces this radical constitution. However, with the increase in police women can report crimes to, Afghanistan has seen an increase in reported rapes. This is solely because women now have a legitimate police force and government to report rapes to. Under the Taliban’s rule, if a woman was raped, rarely were they reported to any member of the Taliban. Most of the rapes involved a family member or friend, and since the Taliban’s punishment for rape was death, their family member or friend would be slaughtered. The women NOW trust the government officials to administrate fair punishments, and trust them enough to report rapes, which enhances their quality of life.//

//In Afghanistan today, women hold many jobs they were not allowed to hold during Taliban rule; women hold jobs in the teaching profession, parliament, and medical profession, just to name a few. Out of the one hundred and forty thousand teaching jobs within Afghanistan, women currently hold forty thousand of them (Campbell, O’Hanlon). These teaching jobs are anywhere from elementary schools to high schools. With the rise of schools, and education NATO is helping with, the need for female teachers will only increase. In last year’s parliamentary elections, “A record number of women are running in Afghanistan's critical parliamentary elections next month” (Boone). One of the women running for Parliament, Robnia Mugimyar Jalalai, explained, “I go running in the stadium where the Taliban used to play football with women’s heads. . . if the Taliban come back I will lose everything that I have gained over the past nine years” (Baker). The Taliban forbid women to hold jobs in a leadership role, because to them, women were only property and not equal human beings. However, as NATO’s presence and direct involvement flooded the country, the government’s views on women spun ONE hundred and eighty degrees. Women are no longer traded for food, like they were in the northern districts of Afghanistan; they now hold powerful positions in the newly formed democratic government. One of the most drastic improvements in the job industry is the ability for women to work in the medical profession. Women, under Taliban rule, could only receive treatment from a female doctor. Since the Taliban allowed for almost no female doctors during their oppressive rule, many women could not seek the medical attention they needed, but NATO has worked to provide more freedoms for women regarding job professions. Now, women are allowed to receive treatment from male doctors, and furthermore are allowed to attend medical school. NATO has clearly helped bolster the movement for women’s job rights and opportunities in Afghanistan, and improved their lives.//

//The Taliban strictly enforced Islamic law, which left no room for negotiation or mistakes from its people. Since NATO’s invasion into the country in October of 2001, they have worked tirelessly to improve the lives of the Afghani people in hundreds of different ways, two of the most important are: infrastructure and women’s rights. Through physical infrastructure improvement, NATO has re-built the country from the ground up, modernizing it with telephone use, electrical lines, and roads. These in turn, helped pull the country out of the twelfth century and into today’s modern world. Furthermore, NATO helped Afghanistan draft and implement a new constitution, providing equal rights to men and women, closing the books on harsh and cruel punishments for criminals, and creating a society with more freedom of religion; many of these new laws and regulations are enforced by the police force trained and built by NATO. When NATO worked to open schools and educate not only children, but women and men, they provided the tools for the members of Afghanistan’s society to reach their full potential in their newly modernized world. By dramatically improving women’s rights, women are no longer traded for food, but instead, treated as equal members of society. Women hold seats in parliament work in the medical profession and teach Afghanistan’s future generations, all of which the Taliban forbid and oppressed. Since NATO invaded Afghanistan in October of 2001, they have helped pull a country out of the twelfth century, into today’s world and completely change the way their society functioned for the better, something the Taliban simply never attempted.// //Resources Used// //"Afghanistan's New Constitution Hinders Freedom of Religion."// The Other Side//. Web. 03 Apr.// // 2011. . // //Azzi, Pierre. "Harsh Rule — Recognizing the Taliban | Harvard International Review."// Harvard International Review | Harvard's Premier Journal of International Affairs//. Spring 1999. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. // //Baker, Aryn. "Afgan Women and the Return of the Taliban."// Time//. Time Magazine, 329 July 2010. Web. 3// // Apr. 2011. <http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2007238,00.html>. // //Boone, Jon. "Afghan Elections Marred by Violence but Pronounced a Success | World News |// // Guardian.co.uk." //Latest News, Comment and Reviews from the Guardian | Guardian.co.uk//. 18 Sept. 2010. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. <http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/sep/18/afghan-election-success-despite-violence>.// //Boone, Jon. "Afghan Elections: Record Number of Women Stand for Parliament | World News |// // The Guardian." //Latest News, Comment and Reviews from the Guardian | Guardian.co.uk//. 24 Aug. 2010. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. <http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/aug/24/record-women-candidates-afghan-election>.// //Brodsky, Robert. "Commanders Urged to Think Local in Afghan Contracting (9/13/10) –// // GovExec.com." // Government News and Events for Federal Employees -- GovExec.com//. 13 Sept. 2010. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. <http://www.govexec.com/dailyfed/0910/091310rb1.htm>.// //"CIA - The World Factbook."// Welcome to the CIA Web Site — Central Intelligence Agency//. 22// // Mar. 2011. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. <https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/af.html>. // // "The Economist Intelligence Unit’s Quality-of-life Index." //The Economist//. Web. 30 Jan. 2010.// // <http://www.economist.com/media/pdf/quality_of_life.pdf>. // //Halper, Daniel. "Taliban Brutality | The Weekly Standard."// The Weekly Standard | A Weekly Conservative Magazine and Blog of News and Opinion. //7 July 2010. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. <http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/taliban-brutality>.// //Michael, O'Hanlon E., and Shapiro Jeremy. "How to Measure the War."// Brookings//. Oct.-Nov. 2009. Web.// // 3 Apr. 2011. <http://www.brookings.edu/articles/2009/10_afghanistan_iraq_campbell.aspx>. // //Morse, Jane. "U.S. Plan Would Help Afghan Women Build Better Lives."// America - Engaging the World – America.gov//. 02 Feb. 2010. Web. 10 Apr. 2011. <http://www.america.gov/st/democracyhr-english/2010/February/20100202151423ajesrom0.1885296.html>.// //Norland, Rod. "Http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/05/world/asia/05afghan.html." //New York Times//. 4 // Apr. 2010. Web. 3 Apr. 2011. <http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/05/world/asia/05afghan.html>. // North, David. "A Corrupt Election in Afghanistan." //World Socialist Web Site//. 10 Aug. 2009. // Web. 03 Apr. 2011. <http://www.wsws.org/articles/2009/aug2009/pers-a10.shtml>. // //Tilghman, Andrew. "U.S. Targets Illiteracy among Afghan Forces - Army News | News from Afghanistan// & Iraq - Army Times." //Army News, Benefits, Careers, Entertainment, Photos, Promotions - Army// //Times HOME//. 6 Sept. 2010. Web. 10 Apr. 2011. Qazi, Abdullah. "The Plight of the Afghan Woman." //Afghanistan Online//. 09 Dec. 2010. Web. 03 Apr. // 2011. <http://www.afghan-web.com/woman/>. //

//**Third Draft of Argument Essay**//

//Hey Jenna,// //Here's my third draft. Looking forward to sitting down with you tomorrow! and talking about it. PS, sorry if wikispaces messes up the editing. I'll bring a clean copy tomorrow :)//

//Becky//

//Becky Hall// //Mrs. Lange// //AP Language and Composition// //11 April 2010//

Clash between Tradition and Modernization

//A tiny village sits in the middle of the desert. Only one road leads up to it, packed down by the wear and travel of donkeys’ feet. As the sun sets on the sandy skyline, darkness engulfs the village; the nearest electrical lines are over a hundred miles away, and none of them reach the village. No cell phones, no technology, no knowledge of anything in the outside world. Does this sound like the twelfth century? This, unfortunately, was the situation that the majority of Afghan people faced just ten years ago, prior to the invasion by foreign armies. After the 9-11 attack on the United States, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, partner with the United States and their allies, sent hundreds of thousands of troops into Afghanistan, to overthrow the Taliban and help the Afghani people. While the process of overall improvement within the country has taken over ten years, a exasperate amount of controversy surrounds NATO’s involvement in the lives of Afghanistan’s people. Improving the lives of Afghani citizens, involves several areas of research, but most specifically: all areas of infrastructure and women’s rights. By improving these different areas of analysis, quality of life, or subject-life satisfaction as the Economist explained, rises dramatically (Economist). When carefully examining the issue of NATO involvement in Afghanistan, it is clear that through relief and humanitarian efforts, NATO has improved the lives of Afghani citizens.//

//Government infrastructure prior to NATO invasion in 2001 was nearly non-existent. The Taliban ruled parts of the country, but nobody really knew which land they controlled, and which they did not. Those vast parts of the country the Taliban had no control over, were ruled by ruthless warlords. They treated the men with little respect and the women with none. Strictly enforcing Islamic law, the Taliban became feared and known for their barbaric punishments for those who violated the Koran. An 18-year old Afghan girl, after fleeing from her abusive parents, was sentenced by a Taliban leader who demanded her ears and nose be cut off (Weekly Standard). Furthermore, under Taliban rule “a person found resisting the government can face public hanging by a slow-rising crane. . . Theft is reprimanded by amputation of hands or arms. . .the Taliban government has no distinct legislative and executive bodies, but rules through councils composed of Muslim clerics. These clerics issue decrees formulated behind closed doors and punish disobedience with death” (Azzi). Since NATO’s invasion of Afghanistan, the country’s crime rates slightly increased. The crime rates increased only because the presence of NATO allows for crimes to actually be reported. Crime engulfed the region during Taliban rule, but the crime rates were not reported or recorded. Administering swift, brutal, and inhumane punishments to those who violated Islamic Law, the Taliban administered unjustifiable punishments. On the other hand, NATO, since their invasion, has worked alongside the Afghan government to create a system that administers humane punishments to those who violate the new constitution. By NATO helping overthrow an abusive and inhumane government that oppressed their people, and by instilling trust into the people by creating a force credible to report crimes to, the lives of the Afghani people improved.//

// Under Taliban rule, Afghanistan had nearly a nonexistent police force. This created a couple problems. First, the Taliban served as the sole enforcer and creator of law. Second, the enforcement of Islamic law lacked any sort of consistency. One of NATO’s top goals was to create and trail a police force for the Afghan government. However, since NATO’s involvement, a “training command was created nine months ago to jump-start flagging efforts to create a reliable army and police force.” By fall of 2011, NATO predicts the Afghan army will be over 300,000 strong (Tilghman). In addition to helping build the police force, NATO has worked alongside the Afghani people to hold four democratic elections since their invasion (Boone). Before NATO presence, democratic elections in Afghanistan were un-heard of and never held. Although David North, a writer for the International Committee of the Fourth International explained in August of 2009 that the elections held in Afghanistan were saturated with corruption, and illegitimacy, the people of Afghanistan would not have had a democratic election before NATO’s invasion. Democratic rule allows the people of Afghanistan to elect their officials, something which the Taliban never allowed. In essence, NATO has given a voice to the voiceless in terms of democratic elections; people’s input and voice matter in the future of their government and leaders. The country’s newly formed internal infrastructure is trying to work towards an election free of corrupt. Clearly, NATO improved the lives of Afghani citizens by helping build a police force, and holding democratic elections, allowing for the people of Afghanistan to exercise their new freedom of speech and participate in the future of their government. //

// With the new government, came a new constitution. The new constitution, drafted in 2003, “declares Afghanistan as an ‘Islamic Republic’ and ‘Islam’ as the new official state religion.” This new constitution allows for the freedom of religions within the certain boundaries. “Political parties who run for office or governing the country must be in line with this provision [of following Islam]” (The Other Side). During Taliban rule, they strictly and solely enforced Islamic Law based from the Koran. They believed their religion superseded all others, and by their country was united through their similar religious beliefs. While helping Afghanistan build internal infrastructure, NATO has helped to form a constitution that allows, to some degree, freedom of religion. This has allowed for the freedom of religion, although the Islamic faith still heavily influences the region. Even though Afghanistan does not allow for complete freedom of religion, they are taking steps in the right direction, something the Taliban never considered. //

//In addition, NATO helped develop physical infrastructure within the country; they have helped build roads, electrical lines, and medical clinics. By building roads and electrical lines, the Afghan people gain the ability to travel, trade, and communicate with the people in their country and the world. In essence, these roads and electrical lines help pull the people of Afghanistan into the twenty first century. “NATO and U.S. forces spent $14 billion in fiscal 2009 on contracts in Afghanistan to improve roads, power sources, commercial infrastructure, water, medical clinic availability and security” ( Brodsky). Since NATO’s involvement, they helped to revolutionize the country with technology. “Telephone usage has increased dramatically to an estimated seven million Afghans, up from just one million in 2002” (Campbell, O’Hanlon). In addition, they helped to build roads, something that the Taliban never did for the people. Afghanistan now has “ 42 ,150 km”  of roads in their country, significantly more than they had under Taliban rule (CIA Factbook). Medical resources in Afghanistan during Taliban rule were nearly nonexistent. However, NATO worked tirelessly to improve medical conditions in the country. Today, approximately “Eighty-two percent of the population now living in districts [that NATO controls] have a basic package of heath care programs, up considerably from 9 percent in 2003” ( Campbell, O’Hanlon). When the availability of health care grows seventy two percent in six years, this clearly provides a drastic improvement for the lives of the Afghani people. NATO’s presence has helped modernize the country with electrical by improving communication and transportation. //

//  Furthermore NATO helped improve literacy rates in adults and children alike. No longer is Afghanistan a country living in darkness and isolation. These schools allow for the education for the younger generation. The higher the degree of education, the better paying job an individual can secure. “More than six million children currently attend over 9,000 schools. . . students are girls and 40,000 of the 142,000 teachers are women” (Campbell, O’Hanlon). Under Taliban rule, they did not allow women to attend school (Morse). However, NATO did not stop at educating just students, they help adults learn to read. Lt. General Williams, head of the NATO-led efforts to train the Afghan national security forces “hired a thousand literate Afghans to help that country’s soldiers learn to read. About 27,000 Afghan police and army recruits are now taking literacy courses” (Tilghman). While the literacy rates still remain low for the adults within Afghanistan, NATO provides them with the opportunity to learn how to read and write, something which the Taliban never offered. Knowing how to read and write opens the door to higher paying jobs, which help support a family. By improving literacy rates, NATO has helped to pull the people of Afghanistan out of the twelfth century and help them realize their potential as an emerging country. //

//NATO’s crowning and arguably the most significant influence in Afghanistan, was the improvement for women’s rights in Afghanistan. Under the Taliban rule, women had no rights. A woman’s parents chose her husband-to-be, and after marriage, under Taliban rule, legally could rape and abuse his wife. The Taliban believed women were property and not equal human beings. After the fall of the Taliban in 2001, and the new constitution NATO helped create a new constitution, adopted in 2003 that states “the citizens of Afghanistan – whether man or woman – have equal rights or duties before the law” (Qazi). The police force NATO is helping to train and build, enforces this new constitution. However, with the increase in police women can report crimes too, there has been an increase in rapes reported. Under the Taliban’s rule, if a woman was raped, they rarely reported them to any member of the Taliban. Most of the rapes involved a family member or friend, and since the Taliban’s punishment for rape was death, their family member or friend would be slaughtered. The rise in reported rapes is not because more men are attacking more women, but rather, the women trust the government officials to administrate fair punishments, and trust them enough to report rapes. While this may seem like a setback for women, it really is a step forward in the right direction because of the trust building between law enforcement, and the women of the country.//

//In Afghanistan today, women hold many jobs they were not allowed to hold during Taliban rule; women hold jobs in the teaching profession, parliament, and medical profession, just to name a few. Out of the one hundred and forty thousand teaching jobs within Afghanistan, women currently hold forty thousand of them (Campbell, O’Hanlon). These teaching jobs are anywhere from elementary schools to high schools. With the rise of schools, and education NATO is helping with, the need for female teachers will only increase. In last year’s parliamentary elections, “A record number of women are running in Afghanistan's critical parliamentary elections next month” (Boone). One of the women running for Parliament, Robnia Mugimyar Jalalai, explained, “I go running in the stadium where the Taliban used to play football with women’s heads. . . if the Taliban come back I will lose everything that I have gained over the past nine years” (Baker). The Taliban never allowed women to hold jobs in a leadership role, because they did not view women as equals. However, as NATO’s presence and direct involvement, the country’s government has turned a hundred and eighty degrees. Women are no longer traded for food, like they were in the northern districts of Afghanistan; they now hold powerful positions in the newly formed democratic government. One of the most significant improvements in the job industry is the ability for women to work in the medical profession. Women, under Taliban rule, could only receive treatment from a female doctor. Since the Taliban allowed for almost no female doctors during their oppressive rule, many women could not seek the medical attention they needed, but NATO has worked to provide more freedoms for women regarding job professions. Now, women are allowed to receive treatment from male doctors, and furthermore are allowed to attend medical school. NATO has clearly helped bolster the movement for women’s job rights and opportunities in Afghanistan, and improved their lives.//

//The Taliban strictly enforced Islamic law, which left no room for negotiation or mistakes from its people. Since NATO’s invasion into the country in October of 2001, they have worked tirelessly to improve the lives of the Afghani people in hundreds of different ways, two of the most important are: infrastructure and women’s rights. Through physical infrastructure improvement, NATO has re-built the country from the ground up, modernizing it with telephone use, electrical lines, and roads. These in turn, helped pull the country out of the twelfth century and into today’s modern world. Furthermore, NATO helped Afghanistan draft and implement a new constitution, providing equal rights to men and women, closing the books on harsh and cruel punishments for criminals, and creating a society with more freedom of religion; many of these new laws and regulations are enforced by the police force trained and built by NATO. When NATO worked to open schools and educate not only children, but women and men, they provided the tools for the members of Afghanistan’s society to reach their full potential in their newly modernized world. By dramatically improving women’s rights, women are no longer traded for food, but instead, treated as equal members of society. Women hold seats in parliament, work in the medical profession and teach students, none of which the Taliban would have allowed. Since NATO invaded Afghanistan in October of 2001, they have helped pull a country out of the twelfth century, into today’s world and completely change the way their society functioned for the better, something the Taliban simply never attempted.//

//Resources Used// //"Afghanistan's New Constitution Hinders Freedom of Religion." The Other Side//. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. <http://www.thebibleistheotherside.org/newsitem7.htm>. Azzi, Pierre. "Harsh Rule — Recognizing the Taliban | Harvard International Review." //Harvard// //International Review | Harvard's Premier Journal of International Affairs//. Spring 1999. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. <http://hir.harvard.edu/harsh-rule> //Baker, Aryn. "Afgan Women and the Return of the Taliban." Time//. Time Magazine, 329 July 2010. Web. 3 Apr. 2011. <http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2007238,00.html>. Boone, Jon. "Afghan Elections Marred by Violence but Pronounced a Success | World News | Guardian.co.uk." //Latest News, Comment and Reviews from the Guardian | Guardian.co.uk//. 18 Sept. 2010. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. <http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/sep/18/afghan-election-success-despite-violence>. //Boone, Jon. "Afghan Elections: Record Number of Women Stand for Parliament | World News |// // The Guardian." Latest News, Comment and Reviews from the Guardian | Guardian.co.uk//. 24 Aug. 2010. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. <http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/aug/24/record-women-candidates-afghan-election>. //Brodsky, Robert. "Commanders Urged to Think Local in Afghan Contracting (9/13/10) –// // GovExec.com." // //Government News and Events for Federal Employees -- GovExec.com//. 13 Sept. 2010. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. <http://www.govexec.com/dailyfed/0910/091310rb1.htm>. //"CIA - The World Factbook." Welcome to the CIA Web Site — Central Intelligence Agency//. 22 Mar. 2011. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. <https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/af.html>. Halper, Daniel. "Taliban Brutality | The Weekly Standard." //The Weekly Standard | A Weekly// //Conservative Magazine and Blog of News and Opinion.// 7 July 2010. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. <http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/taliban-brutality>. //Michael, O'Hanlon E., and Shapiro Jeremy. "How to Measure the War." Brookings//. Oct.-Nov. 2009. Web. 3 Apr. 2011. <http://www.brookings.edu/articles/2009/10_afghanistan_iraq_campbell.aspx>. Morse, Jane. "U.S. Plan Would Help Afghan Women Build Better Lives." //America - Engaging the World –// //America.gov//. 02 Feb. 2010. Web. 10 Apr. 2011. <http://www.america.gov/st/democracyhr-english/2010/February/20100202151423ajesrom0.1885296.html>. //Norland, Rod. "Http:www.nytimes.com/2010/08/05/world/asia/05afghan.html."// New York Times//. 4// // Apr. 2010. Web. 3 Apr. 2011. <http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/05/world/asia/05afghan.html>. // //North, David. "A Corrupt Election in Afghanistan."// World Socialist Web Site//. 10 Aug. 2009.// // Web. 03 Apr. 2011. <http://www.wsws.org/articles/2009/aug2009/pers-a10.shtml>. // //Tilghman, Andrew. "U.S. Targets Illiteracy among Afghan Forces - Army News | News from Afghanistan// // & Iraq - Army Times." //Army News, Benefits, Careers, Entertainment, Photos, Promotions - Army Times HOME//. 6 Sept. 2010. Web. 10 Apr. 2011.// //Qazi, Abdullah. "The Plight of the Afghan Woman."// Afghanistan Online//. 09 Dec. 2010. Web. 03 Apr.// //2011. <http://www.afghan-//

//**Second Draft of Argument Essay**//

//**Becky, great improvements! I just added a couple more questions for you to think about, otherwise I like what you have done with this paper!**// //Here's the second draft! The sources are messed up, so I have to go back and turn them into MLA. Anyway, I went and added a lot of facts, and pathos, and some logos. Lemme know what you think!I started with two areas where NATO helped and just hit every component of them, and it turned out to be more than three pages long.//

// Becky Hall // // Mrs. Lange // // AP Language and Composition // // 4 April 2010 //

// Clash between Tradition and Modernization // // A tiny village sits in the middle of the desert. Only one road leads up to it, packed down by the wear and travel of donkeys’ feet. As the sun sets on the sandy skyline, darkness engulfs the village; the nearest electrical lines are over a hundred miles away, and none of them reach the village. No cell phones, no technology, no knowledge of anything in the outside world. Does this sound like the twelfth century? This, unfortunately, was the situation that the majority of Afghan people faced just ten years ago, prior to the invasion by foreign armies. After the 9-11 attack on the United States, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, partner with the United States and their allies, sent hundreds of thousands of troops into Afghanistan, to overthrow the Taliban and help the Afghani people. While the process of overall improvement within the country has taken over ten years, a exasperate amount of controversy surrounds NATO’s involvement in the lives of Afghanistan’s people. Improving the lives of Afghani citizens, involves several areas of research, but most specifically: all areas of infrastructure and women’s rights. By improving these different areas of analysis, quality of life, or subject-life satisfaction as the Economist explained, rises dramatically (Economist). When carefully examining the issue of NATO involvement in Afghanistan, it is clear that through relief and humanitarian efforts, NATO has improved the lives of Afghani citizens. //

// Government infrastructure prior to NATO invasion in 2001 was nearly non-existent. The Taliban ruled parts of the country, but nobody really knew which land they controlled, and which they did not. Those vast parts of the country the Taliban had no control over, were ruled by ruthless warlords. They treated the men with little respect and the women with none. Strictly enforcing Islamic law, the Taliban became feared and known for their barbaric punishments for those who violated the Koran. An 18-year old Afghan girl, after fleeing from her abusive parents, was sentenced by a Taliban leader who demanded her ears and nose be cut off (Weekly Standard). Furthermore, under Taliban rule “ a person found resisting the government can face public hanging by a slow-rising crane. . . Theft is reprimanded by amputation of hands or arms. . .the Taliban government has no distinct legislative and executive bodies, but rules through councils composed of Muslim clerics. These clerics issue decrees formulated behind closed doors and punish disobedience with death” (Azzi). Since NATO’s invasion of Afghanistan, the country’s crime rates slightly increased. **why is it a good thing that crime increased?** This is because NATO does not administer inhumane and drastically harsh punishments like the Taliban; the government structure they helped to build and form, allows for more humane and realistic punishments. By NATO helping overthrow an abusive and inhumane government that oppressed their people, the lives of the Afghani people improved.//

// Under Taliban rule, Afghanistan had nearly a nonexistent police force. **is this bad? How? Why?** One of NATO’s top goals was to create and trail a police force for the Afghan government. However, since NATO’s involvement, a “training command was created nine months ago to jump-start flagging efforts to create a reliable army and police force.” By fall of 2011, NATO predicts the Afghan army will be over 300,000 strong (Tilghman). In addition to helping build the police force, NATO has worked alongside the Afghani people to hold four democratic elections since their invasion (Boone). Before NATO presence, democratic elections in Afghanistan were un-heard of and never held. Although David North, a writer for the International Committee of the Fourth International explained in August of 2009 that the elections held in Afghanistan were saturated with corruption, and illegitimacy, the people of Afghanistan would not have had a democratic election before NATO’s invasion. **Is it important that all countries live under democratic rule? Why? If not, what is the benefit of democracy for this country?** The country’s newly formed internal infrastructure is trying to work towards an election free of corruption. Clearly, NATO improved the lives of Afghani citizens by helping build a police force, and holding democratic elections, allowing for the people of Afghanistan to exercise their new freedom of speech. **This freedom of speech is a good point, but relate it to the election process and also the democracy portion of your argument to enhance this point.** //

// With the new government, came a new constitution. The new constitution, drafted in 2003, “declares Afghanistan as an ‘Islamic Republic’ and ‘Islam’ as the new official state religion.” This new constitution allows for the freedom of religions within the certain boundaries. “Political parties who run for office or governing the country must be in line with this provision [of following Islam]” (The Other Side). During Taliban rule, they strictly and solely enforced Islamic Law based from the Koran. **Why is it so important to have just one religion? Does this enhance freedom of religion or does it take away from it? How? Also, is this what the people wanted? Or were these changes forced on them?** While helping Afghanistan build internal infrastructure, NATO has helped to form a constitution that allows, to some degree, freedom of religion. Even though Afghanistan does not allow for complete freedom of religion, they are taking steps in the right direction, something the Taliban never considered. //

// In addition, NATO helped develop physical infrastructure within the country; they have helped build roads, electrical lines, and medical clinics. By building roads and electrical lines, the Afghan people gain the ability to travel, trade, and communicate with the people in their country and the world. In essence, these roads and electrical lines help pull the people of Afghanistan into the twenty first century. “NATO and U.S. forces spent $14 billion in fiscal 2009 on contracts in Afghanistan to improve roads, power sources, commercial infrastructure, water, medical clinic availability and security” ( Brodsky). Since NATO’s involvement, they helped to revolutionize the country with technology. “Telephone usage has increased dramatically to an estimated seven million Afghans, up from just one million in 2002” (Campbell, O’Hanlon). In addition, they helped to build roads, something that the Taliban never did for the people. Afghanistan now has “ 42 ,150 km”  of roads in their country, significantly more than they had under Taliban rule (CIA Factbook). Medical resources in Afghanistan during Taliban rule were nearly nonexistent. However, NATO worked tirelessly to improve medical conditions in the country. Today, approximately “Eighty-two percent of the population now living in districts [that NATO controls] have a basic package of heath care programs, up considerably from 9 percent in 2003” ( Campbell, O’Hanlon). When the availability of health care grows seventy two percent in six years, this clearly provides a drastic improvement for the lives of the Afghani people. NATO’s presence has helped modernize the country with electrical by improving communication and transportation. **Good!** //

// Furthermore NATO helped improve literacy rates in adults and children alike. No longer is Afghanistan a country living in darkness and isolation. These schools allow for the education for the younger generation. The higher the degree of education, the better paying job an individual can secure. “More than six million children currently attend over 9,000 schools. . . students are girls and 40,000 of the 142,000 teachers are women” (Campbell, O’Hanlon). Under Taliban rule, they did not allow women to attend school (Morse). However, NATO did not stop at educating just students, they help adults learn to read. Lt. General Williams, head of the NATO-led efforts to train the Afghan national security forces “hired a thousand literate Afghans to help that country’s soldiers learn to read. About 27,000 Afghan police and army recruits are now taking literacy courses” (Tilghman). While the literacy rates still remain low for the adults within Afghanistan, NATO provides them with the opportunity to learn how to read and write, something which the Taliban never offered. Knowing how to read and write opens the door to higher paying jobs, which help support a family. By improving literacy rates, NATO has helped to pull the people of Afghanistan out of the twelfth century and help them realize their potential as an emerging country. //

// NATO’s crowning and arguably the most significant influence in Afghanistan, was the improvement for women’s rights in Afghanistan. Under the Taliban rule, women had no rights. A woman’s parents chose her husband-to-be, and after marriage, under Taliban rule, legally could rape and abuse his wife. The Taliban believed women were property and not equal human beings. After the fall of the Taliban in 2001, and the new constitution NATO helped create a new constitution, adopted in 2003 that states “the citizens of Afghanistan – whether man or woman – have equal rights or duties before the law” (Qazi). The police force NATO is helping to train and build, enforces this new constitution. However, with the increase in police women can report crimes too, there has been an increase in rapes reported. Under the Taliban’s rule, if a woman was raped, they rarely reported them to any member of the Taliban. Most of the rapes involved a family member or friend, and since the Taliban’s punishment for rape was death, their family member or friend would be slaughtered. The rise in reported rapes is not because more men are attacking more women, but rather, the women trust the government officials to administrate fair punishments, and trust them enough to report rapes. While this may seem like a setback for women, it really is a step forward in the right direction because of the trust building between law enforcement, and the women of the country. //

// In Afghanistan today, women hold many jobs they were not allowed to hold during Taliban rule; women hold jobs in the teaching profession, parliament, and medical profession, just to name a few. Out of the one hundred and forty thousand teaching jobs within Afghanistan, women currently hold forty thousand of them (Campbell, O’Hanlon). These teaching jobs are anywhere from elementary schools to high schools. With the rise of schools, and education NATO is helping with, the need for female teachers will only increase. In last year’s parliamentary elections, “ A record number of women are running in Afghanistan's critical parliamentary elections next month” (Boone). One of the women running for Parliament, Robnia Mugimyar Jalalai, explained, “I go running in the stadium where the Taliban used to play football with women’s heads. . . if the Taliban come back I will lose everything that I have gained over the past nine years” (Baker). The Taliban never allowed women to hold jobs in a leadership role, because they did not view women as equals. However, as NATO’s presence and direct involvement, the country’s government has turned a hundred and eighty degrees. Women are no longer traded for food, like they were in the northern districts of Afghanistan; they now hold powerful positions in the newly formed democratic government. One of the most significant improvements in the job industry is the ability for women to work in the medical profession. Women, under Taliban rule, could only receive treatment from a female doctor. Since the Taliban allowed for almost no female doctors during their oppressive rule, many women could not seek the medical attention they needed, but NATO has worked to provide more freedoms for women regarding job professions. Now, women are allowed to receive treatment from male doctors, and furthermore are allowed to attend medical school. NATO has clearly helped bolster the movement for women’s job rights and opportunities in Afghanistan, and improved their lives.//

// The Taliban strictly enforced Islamic law, which left no room for negotiation or mistakes from its people. Since NATO’s invasion into the country in October of 2001, they have worked tirelessly to improve the lives of the Afghani people in hundreds of different ways, two of the most important are: infrastructure and women’s rights. Through physical infrastructure improvement, NATO has re-built the country from the ground up, modernizing it with telephone use, electrical lines, and roads. These in turn, helped pull the country out of the twelfth century and into today’s modern world. Furthermore, NATO helped Afghanistan draft and implement a new constitution, providing equal rights to men and women, closing the books on harsh and cruel punishments for criminals, and creating a society with more freedom of religion; many of these new laws and regulations are enforced by the police force trained and built by NATO. When NATO worked to open schools and educate not only children, but women and men, they provided the tools for the members of Afghanistan’s society to reach their full potential in their newly modernized world. By dramatically improving women’s rights, women are no longer traded for food, but instead, treated as equal members of society. Women hold seats in parliament, work in the medical profession and teach students, none of which the Taliban would have allowed. When NATO invaded Afghanistan in October of 2001, nobody would have expected they would pull a country out of the twelfth century, into today’s world and completely change the way their society functioned for the better, something the Taliban would have never done. **Nobody knew? Then why did we even bother invading? Your conclusive paragraph was so strong until this final statement. Make a statement that isn’t so general, but sums up your argument!** // //Hey Jenna,// //Here's the second draft! The sources are messed up, so I have to go back and turn them into MLA. Anyway, I went and added a lot of facts, and pathos, and some logos. Lemme know what you think!I started with two areas where NATO helped and just hit every component of them, and it turned out to be more than three pages long.//

// Becky Hall // // Mrs. Lange // // AP Language and Composition // // 4 April 2010 //

Clash between Tradition and Modernization

// A tiny village sits in the middle of the desert. Only one road leads up to it, packed down by the wear and travel of donkeys’ feet. As the sun sets on the sandy skyline, darkness engulfs the village; the nearest electrical lines are over a hundred miles away, and none of them reach the village. No cell phones, no technology, no knowledge of anything in the outside world. Does this sound like the twelfth century? This, unfortunately, was the situation that the majority of Afghan people faced just ten years ago, prior to the invasion by foreign armies. After the 9-11 attack on the United States, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, partner with the United States and their allies, sent hundreds of thousands of troops into Afghanistan, to overthrow the Taliban and help the Afghani people. While the process of overall improvement within the country has taken over ten years, a exasperate amount of controversy surrounds NATO’s involvement in the lives of Afghanistan’s people. Improving the lives of Afghani citizens, involves several areas of research, but most specifically: all areas of infrastructure and women’s rights. By improving these different areas of analysis, quality of life, or subject-life satisfaction as the Economist explained, rises dramatically (Economist). When carefully examining the issue of NATO involvement in Afghanistan, it is clear that through relief and humanitarian efforts, NATO has improved the lives of Afghani citizens. //

// Government infrastructure prior to NATO invasion in 2001 was nearly non-existent. The Taliban ruled parts of the country, but nobody really knew which land they controlled, and which they did not. Those vast parts of the country the Taliban had no control over, were ruled by ruthless warlords. They treated the men with little respect and the women with none. Strictly enforcing Islamic law, the Taliban became feared and known for their barbaric punishments for those who violated the Koran. An 18-year old Afghan girl, after fleeing from her abusive parents, was sentenced by a Taliban leader who demanded her ears and nose be cut off (Weekly Standard). Furthermore, under Taliban rule “ a person found resisting the government can face public hanging by a slow-rising crane. . . Theft is reprimanded by amputation of hands or arms. . .the Taliban government has no distinct legislative and executive bodies, but rules through councils composed of Muslim clerics. These clerics issue decrees formulated behind closed doors and punish disobedience with death” (Azzi). Since NATO’s invasion of Afghanistan, the country’s crime rates slightly increased. This is because NATO does not administer inhumane and drastically harsh punishments like the Taliban; the government structure they helped to build and form, allows for more humane and realistic punishments. By NATO helping overthrow an abusive and inhumane government that oppressed their people, the lives of the Afghani people improved.//

// Under Taliban rule, Afghanistan had nearly a nonexistent police force. One of NATO’s top goals was to create and trail a police force for the Afghan government. However, since NATO’s involvement, a “training command was created nine months ago to jump-start flagging efforts to create a reliable army and police force.” By fall of 2011, NATO predicts the Afghan army will be over 300,000 strong (Tilghman). In addition to helping build the police force, NATO has worked alongside the Afghani people to hold four democratic elections since their invasion (Boone). Before NATO presence, democratic elections in Afghanistan were un-heard of and never held. Although David North, a writer for the International Committee of the Fourth International explained in August of 2009 that the elections held in Afghanistan were saturated with corruption, and illegitimacy, the people of Afghanistan would not have had a democratic election before NATO’s invasion. The country’s newly formed internal infrastructure is trying to work towards an election free of corrupt. Clearly, NATO improved the lives of Afghani citizens by helping build a police force, and holding democratic elections, allowing for the people of Afghanistan to exercise their new freedom of speech. //

// With the new government, came a new constitution. The new constitution, drafted in 2003, “declares Afghanistan as an ‘Islamic Republic’ and ‘Islam’ as the new official state religion.” This new constitution allows for the freedom of religions within the certain boundaries. “Political parties who run for office or governing the country must be in line with this provision [of following Islam]” (The Other Side). During Taliban rule, they strictly and solely enforced Islamic Law based from the Koran. While helping Afghanistan build internal infrastructure, NATO has helped to form a constitution that allows, to some degree, freedom of religion. Even though Afghanistan does not allow for complete freedom of religion, they are taking steps in the right direction, something the Taliban never considered. //

// In addition, NATO helped develop physical infrastructure within the country; they have helped build roads, electrical lines, and medical clinics. By building roads and electrical lines, the Afghan people gain the ability to travel, trade, and communicate with the people in their country and the world. In essence, these roads and electrical lines help pull the people of Afghanistan into the twenty first century. “NATO and U.S. forces spent $14 billion in fiscal 2009 on contracts in Afghanistan to improve roads, power sources, commercial infrastructure, water, medical clinic availability and security” ( Brodsky). Since NATO’s involvement, they helped to revolutionize the country with technology. “Telephone usage has increased dramatically to an estimated seven million Afghans, up from just one million in 2002” (Campbell, O’Hanlon). In addition, they helped to build roads, something that the Taliban never did for the people. Afghanistan now has “ 42 ,150 km”  of roads in their country, significantly more than they had under Taliban rule (CIA Factbook). Medical resources in Afghanistan during Taliban rule were nearly nonexistent. However, NATO worked tirelessly to improve medical conditions in the country. Today, approximately “Eighty-two percent of the population now living in districts [that NATO controls] have a basic package of heath care programs, up considerably from 9 percent in 2003” ( Campbell, O’Hanlon). When the availability of health care grows seventy two percent in six years, this clearly provides a drastic improvement for the lives of the Afghani people. NATO’s presence has helped modernize the country with electrical by improving communication and transportation. //

//  Furthermore NATO helped improve literacy rates in adults and children alike. No longer is Afghanistan a country living in darkness and isolation. These schools allow for the education for the younger generation. The higher the degree of education, the better paying job an individual can secure. “More than six million children currently attend over 9,000 schools. . . students are girls and 40,000 of the 142,000 teachers are women” (Campbell, O’Hanlon). Under Taliban rule, they did not allow women to attend school (Morse). However, NATO did not stop at educating just students, they help adults learn to read. Lt. General Williams, head of the NATO-led efforts to train the Afghan national security forces “hired a thousand literate Afghans to help that country’s soldiers learn to read. About 27,000 Afghan police and army recruits are now taking literacy courses” (Tilghman). While the literacy rates still remain low for the adults within Afghanistan, NATO provides them with the opportunity to learn how to read and write, something which the Taliban never offered. Knowing how to read and write opens the door to higher paying jobs, which help support a family. By improving literacy rates, NATO has helped to pull the people of Afghanistan out of the twelfth century and help them realize their potential as an emerging country. //

// NATO’s crowning and arguably the most significant influence in Afghanistan, was the improvement for women’s rights in Afghanistan. Under the Taliban rule, women had no rights. A woman’s parents chose her husband-to-be, and after marriage, under Taliban rule, legally could rape and abuse his wife. The Taliban believed women were property and not equal human beings. After the fall of the Taliban in 2001, and the new constitution NATO helped create a new constitution, adopted in 2003 that states “the citizens of Afghanistan – whether man or woman – have equal rights or duties before the law” (Qazi). The police force NATO is helping to train and build, enforces this new constitution. However, with the increase in police women can report crimes too, there has been an increase in rapes reported. Under the Taliban’s rule, if a woman was raped, they rarely reported them to any member of the Taliban. Most of the rapes involved a family member or friend, and since the Taliban’s punishment for rape was death, their family member or friend would be slaughtered. The rise in reported rapes is not because more men are attacking more women, but rather, the women trust the government officials to administrate fair punishments, and trust them enough to report rapes. While this may seem like a setback for women, it really is a step forward in the right direction because of the trust building between law enforcement, and the women of the country. //

// In Afghanistan today, women hold many jobs they were not allowed to hold during Taliban rule; women hold jobs in the teaching profession, parliament, and medical profession, just to name a few. Out of the one hundred and forty thousand teaching jobs within Afghanistan, women currently hold forty thousand of them (Campbell, O’Hanlon). These teaching jobs are anywhere from elementary schools to high schools. With the rise of schools, and education NATO is helping with, the need for female teachers will only increase. In last year’s parliamentary elections, “ A record number of women are running in Afghanistan's critical parliamentary elections next month” (Boone). One of the women running for Parliament, Robnia Mugimyar Jalalai, explained, “I go running in the stadium where the Taliban used to play football with women’s heads. . . if the Taliban come back I will lose everything that I have gained over the past nine years” (Baker). The Taliban never allowed women to hold jobs in a leadership role, because they did not view women as equals. However, as NATO’s presence and direct involvement, the country’s government has turned a hundred and eighty degrees. Women are no longer traded for food, like they were in the northern districts of Afghanistan; they now hold powerful positions in the newly formed democratic government. One of the most significant improvements in the job industry is the ability for women to work in the medical profession. Women, under Taliban rule, could only receive treatment from a female doctor. Since the Taliban allowed for almost no female doctors during their oppressive rule, many women could not seek the medical attention they needed, but NATO has worked to provide more freedoms for women regarding job professions. Now, women are allowed to receive treatment from male doctors, and furthermore are allowed to attend medical school. NATO has clearly helped bolster the movement for women’s job rights and opportunities in Afghanistan, and improved their lives.//

// The Taliban strictly enforced Islamic law, which left no room for negotiation or mistakes from its people. Since NATO’s invasion into the country in October of 2001, they have worked tirelessly to improve the lives of the Afghani people in hundreds of different ways, two of the most important are: infrastructure and women’s rights. Through physical infrastructure improvement, NATO has re-built the country from the ground up, modernizing it with telephone use, electrical lines, and roads. These in turn, helped pull the country out of the twelfth century and into today’s modern world. Furthermore, NATO helped Afghanistan draft and implement a new constitution, providing equal rights to men and women, closing the books on harsh and cruel punishments for criminals, and creating a society with more freedom of religion; many of these new laws and regulations are enforced by the police force trained and built by NATO. When NATO worked to open schools and educate not only children, but women and men, they provided the tools for the members of Afghanistan’s society to reach their full potential in their newly modernized world. By dramatically improving women’s rights, women are no longer traded for food, but instead, treated as equal members of society. Women hold seats in parliament, work in the medical profession and teach students, none of which the Taliban would have allowed. When NATO invaded Afghanistan in October of 2001, nobody would have expected they would pull a country out of the twelfth century, into today’s world and completely change the way their society functioned for the better, something the Taliban would have never done. // // Resources Used // //"Afghanistan's New Constitution Hinders Freedom of Religion."// The Other Side//. Web. 03 Apr.// // 2011. <http://www.thebibleistheotherside.org/newsitem7.htm>. // //Azzi, Pierre. "Harsh Rule — Recognizing the Taliban | Harvard International Review."// Harvard International Review | Harvard's Premier Journal of International Affairs//. Spring 1999. Web. 03 Apr. 2011. <http://hir.harvard.edu/harsh-rule>// // ** Baker in 2010, ** // // Aryn Baker [Staff Writer]. “Afghan Women and the Return of the Taliban.” //Time.com//. July 29, 2010. h