Katherine+Baudino+6-K.K.

Roosevelt Student: 6-K.K.


 * Letter of Introduction **
 * Kayla- **
 * Hi! So my name is Katherine and I am a senior at Drake. I'm double majoring in English and Education and I'll be student teaching next semester. This semester marks the end of a long college career for me. I started at the University of Northern Iowa, where I was majoring in English and minoring in Women's Studies. Then I moved to Russia for a year to attend the Herzen Pedagogical University for Russian Literature and Photography. After that I moved back to Des Moines to work for a non-profit. I got married and made the decision to go back to school to become a high school English teacher. I love every aspect of literature; reading it, analyzing it, writing about it and especially discussing it with other people who share my passion for the written word. **
 * I also love writing and the writing process. At UNI I wrote mostly critical theory pieces and even won a few awards for my writing. I recently took a short story class here at Drake and found it just as interesting as the critical writing I did at UNI. My goal and my hope is to help you learn to explore everything that writing has to offer when you invest your time in learning to become a better writer. Because I am currently in a class about writing and writing theory, I know that my knowledge base will continue to grow and expand as I learn more in class. I hope that I can pass that knowledge on to you. I also hope that we can have open, positive discussions about writing and I will always do my very best to give you all the feedback I can. If there's anything else you would like to know about me, if you ever have any questions or if you need help while you are writing, please feel free to email me at katherine.baudino@drake.edu. I check my email every day, so that is the best way to reach me. I really look forward to meeting you and to working with you this semester. Thanks!! **

p.s- I originally posted this letter on the discussion board, but our professor told us to post them here. If you want to ask me anything else about me or what we'll be doing this semester, you can email me or post on our discussion board. I promise I'll check both frequently.
 * Katherine Baudino **

Katherine- Hey! I'm Kayla and a Junior at Roosevelt. I am usually a pretty easy going person, and like working with other people, so I'm pretty excited about this. I play softball and volleyball so I'm kept busy througout the year. When it comes to writing I don't find it to exciting. Sometimes I like doing it depending on the topic. I think I need help connecting with the reader more through my writing and using more creative diction. I'm not really sure what I want to do in the future right now, but radiology interests me. With anything I do though, I think writing we'll be a very important aspect because it's something that's used everyday. I'm looking forward to meeting you, (and missing class to go to Drake) and I feel like you'll really be able to help me improve my writing. Thank you so much in advance for all of the help I will be getting from you. I hope I'll be able to help you to, by giving you experience with a student so you can be a pro by the time you're a student teacher! I would like to hear more about your year in Russia! It sounds pretty sweet

-Kayla Beauty is found inside and out, but before someone gets to know a person's inner beauty they look at their outer or physical beauty. Beauty is the way a person looks that is defined as good or sometimes perfect looking. Beauty is not one set look but does have certain qualifications, such as being nicely kept, pretty features, and the perfect "it" body. All of these factors can change depending on the person because after all "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Being clean and well kept is a contributing factor to beauty. It seems the more effort you put into the way you look, and how people see you, the more beautiful you'll seem. Putting in the effort to look attractive shows that that person cares about the way they look. When you see a person in baggy sweats with their hair flowing wildly around their head walking next to a nicely dressed person with their hair made up your eyes are automatically drawn to the nicer kept person. When you look closer into a person's appearance, narowing in on their face something that wants to be seen is a smile. Not just any smile will do but their teeth have to be white, and straight. Their smile has to show confidence in order for them to even be considered at beautiful. Eyes are thought to have to stand out, be bright, and sparkle in order for a person to have beauty. Their skin has to be clear and blemish free, and thier nose proportionate to the rest of the features on their face. A person's body can be considered as beautiful if they either have a curvy, preferably hourglass shape, or a skinny model-like body. When I asked what makes a person's body beautiful I came up with answers such as looking like the models, or actors/actresses seen practicly everywhere. Having a beautiful face is only one part of the deal, without having the perfect body a person can't be considered to have beauty. They can have some beauty but not all that is possible. A person needs the complete package, face and body, to be considered to have true beauty. Beauty is the way people are seen and considered. The characteristics change over time with styles going in and out of fashion. Beauty can help you gain respect or get noticed, but it isn't everything.
 * Rough Draft - Definition ( ****RHS** due 01.27.11; **171** due 01.28.11 **) **

You got (or picked) a fantastic word to do for this assignment. Because beauty is "in the eye of the beholder," there is no absolute definition of what exactly beauty is. You start to talk about differing views of beauty in your fourth paragraph, when you discuss the different responses you got to your question "what is beauty." I also like how you talk about beauty in terms of a "package," and that having one or two features of beauty isn't enough to be considered beautiful. Your last three lines are really great- I especially like the second, about how beauty changes over time. After reading your draft, the two major themes I walked away with are that beauty is multifaceted and that it changes depending on the person viewing it. My only idea for you is that perhaps you might want to consider the whole draft in terms of those two themes and make them more prominent, that is- make them the focus of the paper. You could talk about shape, facial features and the "package of beauty" in terms of beauty being multifaceted and then talk about how these facets change depending on the styles, time period, country, etc. in which they are viewed. This could help your paper flow and let you hit all your good points about beauty in a really organized, themed way. Lastly, I really love your opening line about how inner beauty is (almost always) considered AFTER outer beauty. I think its a great point to make- it shows that you are aware that inner beauty is just (if not way more) important than outer beauty, but outer beauty is always the first thing people notice. Also, one thing I always do after I finish a paper is read it out loud to myself. If there are any lines that sound (or feel) awkward when you're reading them then you'll know they might need some reworking. If you run into any problems while revising or have questions about my response, feel free to write me (on here, your teacher really wants our communication to just be on the wiki) and I will do anything I can to help! I will check back tonight, tomorrow and Sunday- just in case. I'm looking forward to meeting you on Monday!
 * Response to Rough Draft**

Katherine

Beauty is found inside and out, but before someone gets to know a person's inner beauty they look at their outer or physical beauty. On Dictionary.com Beauty is defined as, "The quality present in a thing or person that gives an intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind." It's the way someone or something looks that is described as good or sometimes even perfect. Beauty is not one set look but does have certain qualifications, such as being nicely kept, pretty features, and the perfect "it" body. All of these factors can change depending on the person because after all "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." When asking classmates of mine, topics that were brought up with beauty were things such as being clean and well kept, a smile with white straight teeth, bright eyes that seem to sparkle and stand out, a clear complexion, and the perfect body. Being clean and well kept shows the effort a person puts in to the way that they look, and showing that you care about your looks makes other people notice and care, therefore finding more beauty in that person. Looking closer into a person's appearance such as facial features people want to see a smile. Not just an ordinary smile but their teeth have to be white, and straight, and it has to show confidence to find more beauty in that person. Eye's almond shaped and sparkling bright have to stand out against their perfect, blemish free, newly bronzed skin, seeming to beg for attention. The nose not over bearing for their face but a perfect fit that's straight and comes to a slightly rounded tip at the end. A body that is considered to have beauty is either a curvy, hourglass shape, or a skinny model-like body that you see all the celebrities having. What may be considered as beauty now could be something completely different from what beauty was years ago, or what it is in different cultures. During the Renaissance period beauty was thought to be found in a voluptuous body with a wide high forehead, and pale skin. The seventies took a complete 180 when it came to beauty, hair was layered and curled, sometimes even made into an afro, large eyes and dark bronzed skin were considered major contributors to a person's beauty. Across the world in Western Africa and person has true beauty if they are overweight and bearing stretch marks, which is quite different when compared to the well known Hollywood look. In New England men and women of the Maori culture are seen with swirling face tattoos called moko, which is a sacred beauty ritual, making their look very different but beautiful to themselves. Beauty is the way people are seen and considered. It doesn't have a single set definition but differs depending on cultures. Beauty is what people think looks good or makes a person attractive. The characteristics change over time with the styles going in and out of fashion. Beauty can help you gain respect of get noticed, but it isn't everything.
 * Revision - Definition ( ****RHS** due 01.31.11; **171** due 02.01.11 **) **

Hi Kayla! It was great to meet you on Monday! Your paper is really coming along well. I'm going to copy it here and add my comments in bold inside your draft. Let me know if this is more helpful or less helpful.
 * Response to Revision**

Beauty is found inside and out, but before someone gets to know a person's inner beauty they look at their outer or physical beauty. On Dictionary.com B**(b)**eauty is defined as, "The quality present in a thing or person that gives an intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind." It's the way someone or something looks that is described as good or sometimes even perfect. **Very clear and basic description. I like how you put the dictionary quote into your own words.** Beauty is not one set look but does have certain qualifications, such as being nicely kept, pretty features, and the perfect "it" body. All of these factors can change depending on the person because after all "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." **Does it just change depending on the person viewing it, or are there other reasons it can change?** When asking classmates of mine, topics that were brought up with beauty were things such as being clean and well kept, a smile with white straight teeth, bright eyes that seem to sparkle and stand out, a clear complexion, and the perfect body. Being clean and well kept shows the effort a person puts in to the way that they look, and showing that you care about your looks makes other people notice and care, therefore finding more beauty in that person **this may be a sentence you want to read aloud to see if you like the way it sounds**. Looking closer into a person's appearance such as facial features people want to see a smile **try reading this one aloud too- I think I understand what you want to say, but can it be a little clearer?**. Not just an ordinary smile but their teeth have to be white, and straight, and it has to show confidence to find more beauty in that person. Eyes almond shaped and sparkling bright **commas surrounding the description of the eyes could help set it off from the rest of the sentence** have to stand out against their perfect, blemish free, newly bronzed skin, seeming to beg for attention **are the eyes begging for attention or the other features?**. The nose**** not over bearing for their face but a perfect fit that's straight and comes to a slightly rounded tip at the end. A body that is considered to have beauty is either a curvy, hourglass shape, or a skinny model-like body that you see all the celebrities having. **Are these descriptions of beauty that you personally have or that you got from talking to classmates? Or maybe pieced together from what you see on TV, in movies, ads, etc? It would be great to know where your descriptions come from- or how you think people decide what beauty is.** What may be considered as beauty now could be something completely different from what beauty was years ago, or what it is in different cultures. During the Renaissance period beauty was thought to be found in a voluptuous body with a wide high forehead, and pale skin. The seventies took a complete 180 when it came to beauty, hair was layered and curled, sometimes even made into an afro, large eyes and dark bronzed skin were considered major contributors to a person's beauty. Across the world in Western Africa and person **is that "and" maybe supposed to be an "a"?** has true beauty if they are overweight and bearing stretch marks, which is quite different when compared to the well known Hollywood look. In New England men and women of the Maori culture are seen with swirling face tattoos called moko, which is a sacred beauty ritual, making their look very different but beautiful to themselves. **Great examples of cultural beauty. I'm not sure if you need to cite any of these...that may be a good question for your teacher- I don't know what her demands/expectation for citation are.** Beauty is the way people are seen and considered. **Is it also a standard they are held to?** It doesn't have a single set definition but differs depending on cultures. Beauty is what people think looks good or makes a person attractive. The characteristics change over time with the styles going in and out of fashion. Beauty can help you gain respect of get noticed, but it isn't everything. **Great summary of the points/definition that you come to through you paper. I love that you address that people can have their own personal definition of what beauty is, but that we as a society try to define beauty for everyone. I think if you read the paper aloud, you might find a couple of spots where you can work on your wording, but the content of your paper is very strong and your ideas and thoughts about what beauty is come through very clearly. Let me know if there is anything you have questions about before your final draft is due!**


 * FINAL - Definition ( ****RHS** due 02.02.11; **171** due 02.04.11 **) **

Beauty is found inside and out, but before someone gets to know a person's inner beauty they look at their outer or physical beauty. On Dictionary.com beauty is defined as, "The quality present in a thing or person that gives an intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind." It's the way someone or something looks that is described as good or sometimes even perfect. Beauty is not one set look but does have certain qualifications, such as being nicely kept, pretty features, and the perfect "it" body. All of these factors can change depending on the person because after all "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." It can change depending on a viewers interests and feelings, the time period, or the culture.

When asking classmates of mine, topics that were brought up with beauty were things such as being clean and well kept, a smile with white straight teeth, bright eyes that seem to sparkle and stand out, a clear complexion, and the perfect body. Being clean and well kept shows the effort a person puts in to the way that they look, and showing that you care about your looks makes other people notice and care, therefore they start to see the beauty in that person. Looking closer into a person's appearance such as facial features people want to see a smile**.** Not just an ordinary smile but their teeth have to be white, and straight, and it has to show confidence to find more beauty in that person. Eyes almond shaped and sparkling bright, have to stand out against their perfect, blemish free, newly bronzed skin. The nose, not over bearing for their face but a perfect fit that's straight and comes to a slightly rounded tip at the end. When I asked about beauty in the body I got answers such as a body that is either a curvy, hourglass shape, or a skinny model-like body that you see all the celebrities having.

What may be considered as beauty now could be something completely different from what beauty was years ago, or what it is in different cultures. During the Renaissance period beauty was thought to be found in a voluptuous body with a wide high forehead, and pale skin. The seventies took a complete 180 when it came to beauty, hair was layered and curled, sometimes even made into an afro, large eyes and dark bronzed skin were considered major contributors to a person's beauty. Across the world in Western Africa a person has true beauty if they are overweight and bearing stretch marks, which is quite different when compared to the well known Hollywood look. In New England men and women of the Maori culture are seen with swirling face tattoos called moko, which is a sacred beauty ritual, making their look very different but beautiful to themselves.

Beauty is the way people are seen and considered, a standard look there are held to in society. It doesn't have a single set definition but differs depending on cultures. Beauty is what people think looks good or makes a person attractive. The characteristics change over time with the styles going in and out of fashion. Beauty can help you gain respect of get noticed, but it isn't everything.

Kayla- I think you did a great job with your paper. You have organized it well and your thoughts and ideas come through strongly. You also provide a good clear and basic definition of the word beauty. I really enjoyed the work you did to find out what your classmates thought of the word beauty and how beauty has "looked" over different time periods and across cultures. I have only two things to think about as we go forward with your next papers. First, I'm not sure if my questions in response to your second draft worked out well. I was hoping that they might get you to expand a bit on some ideas you had that were really good. You definitely don't have to include anything I ask in your paper, but if my questions get you thinking about expanding on one of your thoughts and you discover something you might want to add to your paper, that's great. Second, I noticed a couple proofreading type errors in your final draft. I'm not going to get too focused on mechanics in my responses, but I think that sometimes mechanical errors can detract from otherwise good writing. Remember to go over your writing closely when you are finished- if you want me to do any proofreading, just let me know! I will never be nit-picky about wording/grammar/spelling unless you want me to be. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!
 * Response to Final Revision**


 * REFLECTION #1 ****<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 02.08.11; **171** due 02.11.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

**Reflection:** I think I improved the most on putting my thoughts on paper and actually getting my ideas across. My drake partner helped me think of ways to explain and expand on my ideas and come up with examples.I feel that I need the most help with grammar and punctuation, which I could probably solve by reading through my papers. Thank you so much for your help! It really made me start thinking of ways to explain myself and made for a much better paper.

**Response to Reflection** I agree! I think your thoughts and ideas came across really well- I especially liked that you added ideas as you revised. If you have an idea, and can explain it well to the reader, you should (almost) always include it. You organized your thoughts well and you gave a clear, basic definition while still discussing the fact that a definition of beauty is always individual. Every writer struggles with getting grammar, sentence structure and punctuation right- as long as you proofread closely, you'll be fine. The content of your writing is the most important thing- however, you will have professors in college that subtract points for mechanics, so its good to get into the habit of proofreading (and proofreading again) as early as you can. I wish someone had told me that in high school- I can't tell you how many times I turned in a paper without closely proofreading and was so disappointed to lose points for stupid errors!! I'm so glad you feel my responses helped you- thank you for letting me read your work and share my thoughts with you!

Receiving your first Barbie when your a child you see how beautiful it is. The first thing you notice is the long blond hair and proportionate features. She's skinny and tall and is soon what every girl wants to look like. Many times if a woman doesn't meet the standards they classify as beautiful they will go through surgery after surgery to look the way they want. Being beautiful should not be painful and there's no use in spending tons of money on something that doesn't matter all that much in real life. For many years, like the Barbie Dolls, white skin was thought to be beautiful, but as time goes on more and more skin colors are being recognized in America. Models of other races were soon considered "exotic" and caught the attention of many people. In Europe what a man finds beautiful in a women can be blond hair, blue eyes, and long legs. Or brunettes with a beautiful face or sometimes wavy hair and black tiny eyes. There's more than one look that can be known as beautiful but one thing they all have in common is that a woman needs to be skinny in ordered to be considered as beautiful. What is considered in beauty in Europe is very similar to what is beautiful in America. I think it would be really cool to do something about the Caribbean but I couldn't find anything useful on it. There are many tribes in the African culture. One known as the Himba tribe covers themselves in an ointment that turns there skin a reddish-brown color. They believe it's attractive because the brown is like the earth and the red like blood. Another common thing seen throughout African tribes is topples women, it's what they consider natural and beautiful. In the Mursi tribe, women and girls wear lip plates that make their lips much larger than they actually are. Many tribes, such as the Zulu tribe, wear only beads. The beads can represent many things and are often given to them by men creating an ownership of them. I don't really know how I would end this and I think I need more information or maybe a few more cultures.
 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Rough Draft - Classification/Division ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 02.16.11; **171** due 02.18.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **
 * Intro-** While flipping through magazines I notice one thing they have in common. The models they use all look very similar. Looking back to when I was little all of the popular princess movies the characters always seemed to go to the same salon and shop at the same stores creating a set look in the minds of the little girls watching that this is what they have to look like to be beautiful. As I have grown older I've widened my horizon and noticed the other cultures in the world and how there idea of beauty can be so different from what we see learned and see everyday.
 * Body-**
 * America**
 * Europe**
 * Caribbean**
 * Africa**
 * Conclusion-**

Kayla- I think you are off to a great start! I am going to put some comments/questions directly into your piece, which I copied below.
 * Response to Rough Draft**

Receiving your first Barbie when your a child you see how beautiful it is. The first thing you notice is the long blond hair and proportionate features. She's skinny and tall and is soon what every girl wants to look like. Many times if a woman doesn't meet the standards they classify as beautiful they will go through surgery after surgery to look the way they want.**Why do you think they do this?** Being beautiful should not be painful and there's no use in spending tons of money on something that doesn't matter all that much in real life. **Do you think that we are being told it matters? Saying that it doesn't matter is very enlightened- but I think many girls your age would say its one of the only things that matters. How did you come to the conclusion that it doesn't?** For many years, like the Barbie Dolls, white skin was thought to be beautiful, but as time goes on more and more skin colors are being recognized in America. Models of other races were soon considered "exotic" **I like your use of quotes here- what do you think they mean? Is calling someone "exotic" a good thing or a bad thing?** and caught the attention of many people. In Europe what a man finds beautiful in a women can be blond hair, blue eyes, and long legs. Or brunettes with a beautiful face or sometimes wavy hair and black tiny eyes. There's more than one look that can be known as beautiful but one thing they all have in common is that a woman needs to be skinny in ordered to be considered as beautiful. What is considered in beauty in Europe is very similar to what is beautiful in America. **Do you think European girls feel the same way as American girls? Do they also feel the need to go to extremes to be beautiful?** I think it would be really cool to do something about the Caribbean but I couldn't find anything useful on it. **Hmm...what about some other island cultures? Or Asian perceptions of beauty? You definitely had some background knowledge about foot binding and leg stretching you could use.** There are many tribes in the African culture. One known as the Himba tribe covers themselves in an ointment that turns there skin a reddish-brown color. They believe it's attractive because the brown is like the earth and the red like blood. **That is so interesting! I had no idea!** Another common thing seen throughout African tribes is topless women, it's what they consider natural and beautiful. **Do you think they suffer from self-consciousness like women in other countries?** In the Mursi tribe, women and girls wear lip plates that make their lips much larger than they actually are. Many tribes, such as the Zulu tribe, wear only beads. The beads can represent many things and are often given to them by men creating an ownership of them. **What do you think of all these different ways of feeling beautiful?** I don't really know how I would end this and I think I need more information or maybe a few more cultures. **I think you could maybe add a section or two, if you want to. My favorite parts of this piece are when I get a glimpse of your personal relationship to the topic. I think if you add a bit about your impressions of the different cultures that would make this even stronger. What I really took away from this paper is the different lengths women will go to to be perceived as beautiful. It seems like a big part of what you are saying is that there are many different kinds of beauty, but that they all have something in common- women will do almost anything to achieve them.**
 * Intro-** While flipping through magazines I notice one thing they have in common. The models they use all look very similar. **What do they look like? How does it compare to the people around you?** Looking back to when I was little all of the popular princess movies the characters always seemed to go to the same salon and shop at the same stores creating a set look in the minds of the little girls watching that this is what they have to look like to be beautiful.**How did it make you feel?** As I have grown older I've widened my horizon and noticed the other cultures in the world and how there idea of beauty can be so different from what we see learned and see everyday. **Do you think they feel the same way you do when they look through magazines?**
 * Body-**
 * America**
 * Europe**
 * Caribbean**
 * Africa**
 * Conclusion-**

While flipping through magazines I notice one thing they have in common. The models they use all look very similar. Tall, skinny, with long hair and perfect features. Looking back to when I was little all of the popular princess movies the characters always seemed to go to the same salon and shop at the same stores creating a set look in the minds of the little girls watching, that this is what they have to look like to be beautiful. The movies seemed to take control of our thoughts about beauty. As I have grown older I've widened my horizon and noticed the other cultures in the world and how there idea of beauty can be so different from what we have learned and see everyday. Receiving your first Barbie when your a child you see how beautiful it is. The first thing you notice is the long blond hair and proportionate features. She's skinny and tall and is soon what every girl wants to look like. Many times if a woman doesn't meet the standards they classify as beautiful they will go through surgery after surgery to look the way they want, to reach the look that was planted in there mind from a young age that all seemed to be similar. They don't see the variety of beauty's and only know one and that is the way they're trying to look. Being beautiful should not be painful and there's no use in spending tons of money on something that doesn't matter all that much in real life. Changing your looks won't change the outcome of your life. For many years, like the Barbie Dolls, white skin was thought to be beautiful, but as time goes on more and more skin colors are being recognized in America. Models of other races were soon considered "exotic" and beautiful which caught the attention of many people. In Europe what a man finds beautiful in a women can be blond hair, blue eyes, and long legs. Or brunettes with a beautiful face or sometimes wavy hair and black tiny eyes. There's more than one look that can be known as beautiful but one thing they all have in common is that a woman needs to be skinny in ordered to be considered as beautiful. What is considered in beauty in Europe is very similar to what is beautiful in America. They do many things to their body in order to achieve their look. In Asia women are typically thought of as small, and they are doing what they can to stop that. They have been putting themselves through grueling pain to stretch their legs in order to be taller and have long legs. They are also binding their feet to make them smaller. These women prove the pain you would go through for beauty. There are many tribes in the African culture. One known as the Himba tribe covers themselves in an ointment that turns there skin a reddish-brown color. They believe it's attractive because the brown is like the earth and the red like blood. Another common thing seen throughout African tribes is topless women, it's what they consider natural and beautiful. In the Mursi tribe, women and girls wear lip plates that make their lips much larger than they actually are. Many tribes, such as the Zulu tribe, wear only beads. The beads can represent many things and are often given to them by men creating an ownership of them. Seeing the way women's looks are preceived around the World, shows the variety of fashion and beliefs. No matter what, in every culture there seems to be a way to fix something to make you more beautiul. Women will go to great lengths to become what they know as beauty, but what they don't know is that they could be the most beautiful person in another culture's eyes. If one thing is beautiful in a culture doesn't mean it is thousand's of miles away.
 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Revision - Classification/Division ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 02.23.11; **171** due 02.25.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **
 * America**
 * Europe**
 * Asia**
 * Africa**


 * Response to Revision**


 * Hi Kayla! I had no idea your work was going to be due so fast- I hope my response is helpful and that you're not too stressed out. I know you haven't really had a lot of time to get all this done. You're doing a great job though! I have a few questions/comments that I think will help you turn in a strong final draft...I'm putting them inside your paper, which I've copied below.**

While flipping through magazines I notice one thing they have in common. The models they use all look very similar. **(They are)** Tall, skinny, with long hair and perfect features. Looking back to when I was little all of the popular princess movies**('s)** characters always seemed to go to the same salon and shop at the same stores creating a set look in the minds of the little girls watching, that this is what they have to look like to be beautiful. **You have some good variety in your sentences here- some long and complex, some short and direct.** The movies seemed to take control of our thoughts about beauty. As I have grown older I've widened my horizon and noticed the other cultures in the world and how there **(their)** idea of beauty can be so different from what we have learned and see everyday **How has this changed your idea of what beauty is?** **America** Receiving your first Barbie when your a child you see how beautiful it is. The first thing you notice is the long blond hair and proportionate features. She's skinny and tall and is soon what every girl wants to look like. Many times if a woman doesn't meet the standards they **who is they? magazines? tv? movies? what do you think shapes our idea of beauty? is it one thing or many things?** classify as beautiful they will go through surgery after surgery to look the way they want, to reach the look that was planted in there **(their)** mind from a young age **(I think you could maybe just end the sentence here) (**that all seemed to be similar **- this might be making it a run on)**. They don't see the variety of beauty and only know one and that is the way they're trying to look. Being beautiful should not be painful and there's no use in spending tons of money on something that doesn't matter all that much in real life. Changing your looks won't change the outcome of your life. For many years, like the Barbie Dolls, white skin was thought to be beautiful, but as time goes on more and more skin colors are being recognized in America. Models of other races were soon considered "exotic" and beautiful which caught the attention of many people. **Is the idea of what beauty means changing in America? Do you think we are still stuck in the Barbie rut- or is there hope that people might be starting to be more openminded?** **Europe** In Europe what a man finds beautiful in a women can be blond hair, blue eyes, and long legs. Or brunettes with a beautiful face and sometimes**/possibly** wavy hair and black tiny eyes. There's more than one look that can be known as beautiful but one thing they all have in common is that a woman needs to be skinny in ordered to be considered as beautiful. What is considered in beauty in Europe is very similar to what is beautiful in America. They do many things to their body in order to achieve their look. **Have you found any examples of what they do? Is plastic surgery as big there as it is here? What do you think about the European standard of beauty? Is it more or less openminded?** **Asia** In Asia women are typically thought of as small, and they are doing what they can to stop that. They have been putting themselves through grueling pain to stretch their legs in order to be taller and have long legs. <span style="display: inline ! important; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">**Why do they want long legs?**

<span style="display: inline ! important; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> They are also binding their feet to make them smaller **(do they still do this?)** These women prove the pain you would go through for beauty. **I keep seeing long legs/tallness in every country so far- what do you think about that? How might someone who was born smaller- like an Asian person- feel when they see tallness as ideal?**

**Africa** There are many tribes in the African culture. One**,** known as the Himba tribe**,** covers themselves in an ointment that turns there **(their)** skin a reddish-brown color. They believe it's attractive because the brown is like the earth and the red like blood. Another common thing seen throughout African tribes is topless women, it's what they consider natural and beautiful. In the Mursi tribe, women and girls wear lip plates that make their lips much larger than they actually are. Many tribes, such as the Zulu tribe, wear only beads. The beads can represent many things and are often given to them by men creating an ownership of them. **How do these looks make women feel? Do you think- even though this is all very different then the other countries- that being thought of as beautiful is still very important in Africa?** Seeing the way women's looks are preceived around the world shows the variety of fashion and beliefs. No matter what, in every culture there seems to be a way to fix something to make you more beautiul. Women will go to great lengths to become what they know as beauty, but what they don't know is that they could be the most beautiful person in another culture's eyes. If one thing is beautiful in a culture doesn't mean it is **beautiful** thousands of miles away. **Great closing.** <span style="display: inline ! important; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">**Have you given any thought to taking out the headings and using transitional sentences instead? I don't think the headings detract a great deal from your paper, but using transitional sentences might make if flow more smoothly. I think if you expand on a couple of things (by either using your own ideas or thinking about my questions) you can make this a fully thought out paper that gives us good classifications on beauty around the world, as well as what you think/believe/have discovered about it. I will check back tonight- if you have any questions or need any help as you are writing your final draft let me know!**


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">FINAL - Classification/Division ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 03.01.11; **171** due 03.04.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

While flipping through magazines I notice one thing they have in common. The models they use all look very similar. They are tall, skinny, with long hair and perfect features. Looking back to when I was little all of the popular princess movie's characters always seemed to go to the same salon and shop at the same stores creating a set look in the minds of the little girls watching, that this is what they have to look like to be beautiful. The movies seemed to take control of our thoughts about beauty. As I have grown older I've widened my horizon and noticed the other cultures in the world and how their idea of beauty can be so different from what we have learned and see everyday. It has made me realize that there are many ways a person can look and still be beautiful, just because someone looks different doesn't mean they're ugly. Receiving your first Barbie when you’re a child you see how beautiful it is. The first thing you notice is the long blond hair and proportionate features. She's skinny and tall and is soon what every girl wants to look like. Many times if a woman doesn't meet the standards that their mind classifies as beautiful they will go through surgery after surgery to look the way they want, to reach the look that was planted in their mind from a young age. They don't see the variety of beauty and only know one and that is the way they're trying to look. Being beautiful should not be painful and there's no use in spending tons of money on something that doesn't matter all that much in real life. Changing your looks won't change the outcome of your life. For many years, like the Barbie Dolls, white skins was thought to be beautiful, but as time goes on more and more skin colors are being recognized in America. Models of other races were soon considered "exotic" and beautiful which caught the attention of many people. This is changing America's view of beauty and is bringing confidence to women who don't look like the idolized Barbie but can now be considered beautiful. In Europe what a man finds beautiful in a women can be blond hair, blue eyes, and long legs. Or brunettes with a beautiful face and possibly wavy hair and black tiny eyes. There's more than one look that can be known as beautiful but one thing they all have in common is that a woman needs to be skinny in order to be considered as beautiful. What is considered in beauty in Europe is very similar to what is beautiful in America. They do many things to their body in order to achieve their look. European’s, like American’s, go through many surgeries to achieve the looks they consider beautiful. In Asia women are typically thought of as small, and they are doing what they can to stop that. They have been putting themselves through grueling pain to stretch their legs in order to be taller and have long legs, as a way to Americanize themselves. They also go through surgeries to "open their eyes" and to make them seem more awake and European. A few years ago Asian women would bind their feet to make them smaller. These women prove the pain you would go through for beauty. There are many tribes in the African culture. One**, ** known as the Himba tribe** , ** covers themselves in an ointment that turns their skin a reddish-brown color. They believe it's attractive because the brown is like the earth and the red like blood. Another common thing seen throughout African tribes is topless women; it's what they consider natural and beautiful. In the Mursi tribe, women and girls wear lip plates that make their lips much larger than they actually are. Many tribes, such as the Zulu tribe, wear only beads. The beads can represent many things and are often given to them by men creating an ownership of them. Beauty in Africa is thought about but does not have the influence on men and other women that is seen in other countries. Seeing the way women's looks are perceived around the world shows the variety of fashion and beliefs. No matter what, in every culture there seems to be a way to fix something to make you more beautiful. Women will go to great lengths to become what they know as beauty, but what they don't know is that they could be the most beautiful person in another culture's eyes. If one thing is beautiful in a culture doesn't mean it is beautiful thousands of miles away.
 * America **
 * Europe **
 * Asia **
 * Africa **

Kayla- You did a great job of thinking about my questions and reflecting on them in your paper. Even adding one or two sentences that show your thoughts, or personal connection, to the topic help your reader connect to both you and your piece. This was a difficult piece because each classification could be an entire paper, but I think you did something really great with what could have been too much information- you narrowed it down to what was the most important/interesting to you. I think if you are interested in something it will come through in you papers and interest your reader. I think the three strongest paragraphs in your paper were your first two and your last. Your intro and America paragraphs were strong because of your personal connections and the way you thought through your points. Your last was strong because you had a lot of good, interesting examples. The paragraphs on Europe and Asia could use a little more personal reflection and examples- but I know you were pressed for time and had trouble finding interesting examples. I think when you are writing your argument it will be good to keep personal connections and examples in mind while you are writing. It will make for a strong and interesting paper. I really enjoyed reading this and I loved hearing your thoughts on beauty around the world. Great job!
 * Response to Final Revision**


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">REFLECTION #2 ****<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 03.22.11; **171** due 03.25.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Is Age Really Just a Number?
 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Rough Draft - Argument ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 03.30.11; **171** due 04.01.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Numbers are everywhere you look. Street signs, on houses, at stores, and they even show how long you have been alive. That number, the one that says how old or young a person is that everyone wants to know, could be restricting you from doing what you want. Should a simple number be able to determine whether you can vote, run for president, what kind of movies you can see, or even be able to drive while talking on the phone?

Who decides how old a person has to be to do a certain thing? Why that certain number? Just because a person reaches a certain number of years they have lived on earth doesn't mean that they are mature enough to handle a new responsibility they are given, and if you're are below the age limit you could be mature enough to handle something new. A person could be seventeen years and 364 days old and that one day can take them from an adolescent to a legal adult, whether or not they're ready for it or have been ready for years changes for every person.

People are constantly saying how kids don't have enough experience, or seeing certain things in movies can rot our minds or disturb us. Kids see plenty of that in real life. It could be drug abuse, violence, or swearing, at school or home. Keeping kids away from things because they don't have the experience, stops them from getting that experience or learning how to deal with it.

Numbers can be important in many instances, but they can also have an impact on so many lives. Age restricts us from doing what we want and should be able to do, just because you have lived on the earth for a certain amount of time doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else. Things shouldn't be determined by age but your maturity level because after all, who would want age, a simple number, to keep them living there life the way they want to.

-This is all I have for now. I have more ideas I just can't seem to form them into words, so I figured this would be good for a rough draft.


 * Response to Rough Draft**

<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Numbers are everywhere you look. They are on street signs, on houses, at stores, and they even show how long you have been alive. That number, the one that says how old or young a person is that everyone wants to know, could be restricting you from doing what you want. **This is an interesting topic- what interested you in it?** Should a simple number be able to determine whether you can vote, run for president, what kind of movies you can see, or even be able to drive while talking on the phone **what else besides age could be used to determine whether or not a person is ready to do these things**?

Who decides how old a person has to be to do a certain thing? **Who does decide?** Why that certain number? Just because a person reaches a certain number of years they have lived on earth doesn't mean that they are mature enough to handle a new responsibility they are given, **what do you think makes them mature enough?** and if you're are below the age limit you could be mature enough to handle something new. A person could be seventeen years and 364 days old and that one day can take them from an adolescent to a legal adult, whether or not they're ready for it or have been ready for years changes for every person **Why do you think 18 is the "magic" age? Do you think it's an appropriate age to be an adult?**.

People are constantly saying how kids don't have enough experience, or seeing certain things in movies can rot our minds or disturb us. Kids see plenty of that in real life. It could be drug abuse, violence, or swearing, at school or home **Do you think being exposed to these things makes a kid more mature?**. Keeping kids away from things because they don't have the experience, stops them from getting that experience or learning how to deal with it **Is there a reason to attempt to shelter kids from certain experiences? Who should decide what kids are exposed to and when?**.

Numbers can be important in many instances, but they can also have an impact on so many lives. Age restricts us from doing what we want and should be able to do, just because you have lived on the earth for a certain amount of time doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else. Things shouldn't be determined by age but your maturity level because after all, who would want age, a simple number, to keep them living there life the way they want to. **How would this maturity level be determined? And who would decide who is "old enough" to do something?**

-This is all I have for now. I have more ideas I just can't seem to form them into words, so I figured this would be good for a rough draft. **This is a good start. What ideas do you have? Is there a certain thing that you think age restricts that it shouldn't? Narrowing your focus to one thing might help you make a stronger argument. Also, the government has raised or lowered age restrictions on things like driving and drinking in the past- what do you think about that? What do you think should be the "test" for when people can do things? I've always found it interesting that a person can do certain things only when they reach a certain age so I am looking forward to seeing where you go with this argument.**


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Revision (1) - Argument ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 04.05.11; **171** due 04.08.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Numbers are everywhere you look. Street signs, on houses, at stores, and they even show how long you have been alive. That number, the one that says how old or young a person is that everyone wants to know, could be restricting you from doing what you want. Hearing all of the laws that were made differently for different ages just don't seem fair. Should a simple number be able to determine whether you can vote, run for president, what kind of movies you can see, or even be able to drive while talking on the phone**?**

Who decides how old a person has to be to do a certain thing? Why that certain number? Just because a person reaches a certain number of years they have lived on earth doesn't mean that they are mature enough to handle a new responsibility they are given, a person can only gain the maturity needed for a task by experiencing it for themselves. If you're are below the age limit you could be mature enough, and have enough experience, to handle something new. A person could be seventeen years and 364 days old and that one day can take them from an adolescent to a legal adult, whether or not they're ready for it or have been ready for years changes for every person**.** 18 is still a teenager, most are still in high school preparing to go to college. But for some odd reason it's considered an adult. I think the number was just an average chosen between when people decided a person becomes an adult.

The lowering and raising of driving and even drinking laws show the uncertainty people have with the ages they have chosen in the past. Many people believed they chose wrong then, so how do we know what the law is now won't change again in the future? The lawmakers don't know exactly what age is appropriate for things simply because no one is going to be the same at that age. Making an assumption that everyone will or will not be able to handle something could be very wrong and degrading.

People are constantly saying how kids don't have enough experience, or seeing certain things in movies can rot our minds or disturb us. Kids see plenty of that in real life. It could be drug abuse, violence, or swearing, at school or home. When a child goes through things like this they do become more mature. It causes them to grow up much faster and take more responsibility for themselves. Keeping kids away from things because they don't have the experience, stops them from getting that experience or learning how to deal with it. Parents take control of their children's lives and keep them from seeing or doing everything they should simply because it could be dangerous, or parents have heard rumored stories from other people that scares them.

Numbers can be important in many instances, but they can also have an impact on so many lives. Age restricts us from doing what we want and should be able to do, just because you have lived on the earth for a certain amount of time doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else. Things shouldn't be determined by age but your maturity level because after all, who would want age, a simple number, to keep them living there life the way they want to. No one knows how someone is going to react in a certain situation except themselves. Realizing this one person shouldn't be able to chose a certain number that someone has to be to get more rights but listen to everyone's opinion, or not link things to age at all and let the parents decide what they think for their own child.


 * Response to Revision**
 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Numbers are everywhere you look. ( **They are on) **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Street signs, on houses, at stores, and they even show how long you have been alive. That number, the one that says how old or young a person is **(**<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">that everyone wants to know- **this seems like something you might have decided to change and then maybe forgot to take out)**<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">, could be restricting you from doing what you want. Hearing all of the laws that were made differently for different ages just don't** (doesn't) **seem fair. Should a simple number be able to determine whether you can vote, run for president, what kind of movies you can see, or even be** (if you are able) **able to drive while talking on the phone**? Good opening- I put some suggestions for mechanical and sentence fluency changes you could make to make the paragraph stronger.


 * Who decides how old a person has to be to do a certain thing? Why that certain number? Just because a person reaches a certain number of years they have lived on earth doesn't mean that they are mature enough to handle a new responsibility they are given, a person can only gain the maturity needed for a task by experiencing it for themselves. If you're are below the age limit you could be mature enough, and have enough experience, to handle something new. A person could be seventeen years and 364 days old and that one day can take them from an adolescent to a legal adult, whether or not they're ready for it or have been ready for years changes for every person**. **18 is still a teenager, most are still in high school preparing to go to college. But for some odd reason it's considered an adult. I think the number was just an average chosen between when people decided a person becomes an adult.** Is 18 always the number that makes someone an adult? What about even younger teenagers that are charged as adults for crimes?


 * The lowering and raising of driving and even drinking laws show the uncertainty people have with the ages they have chosen in the past. Many people believed they chose wrong then, so how do we know what the law is now won't change again in the future? The lawmakers don't know exactly what age is appropriate for things simply because no one is going to be the same at that age. Making an assumption that everyone will or will not be able to handle something could be very wrong and degrading. You have discussed three different ages so far (18 to become an adult, 16 to drive, and 21 to drink)- and this may be too general for an argumentative paper. Is your argument that these ages are incorrect or that the government choosing them is wrong? Is there a certain age restriction that you find to be completely off base? **


 * People are constantly saying how kids don't have enough experience, or **(that) **seeing certain things in movies can rot our minds or disturb us. Kids see plenty of that in real life. It could be drug abuse, violence, or swearing, at school or home. When a child goes through things like this they do become more mature. It causes them to grow up much faster and take more responsibility for themselves. Keeping kids away from things because they don't have the experience, stops them from getting that experience or learning how to deal with it. Parents take control of their children's lives and keep them from seeing or doing everything they should simply because it could be dangerous, or parents have heard rumored stories from other people that scares them.** Is that a bad thing? Should children be exposed to violence or sex, etc to gain experience or mature?


 * Numbers can be important in many instances, but they can also have an impact on so many lives. Age restricts us from doing what we want and should be able to do,**(this is probably two separate sentences) **just because you have lived on the earth for a certain amount of time doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else. Things shouldn't be determined by age but your maturity level because**, **after all, who would want age, a simple number, to keep them living there life the way they want to**? **No one knows how someone is going to react in a certain situation except themselves. Realizing this one person shouldn't be able to chose a certain number that someone has to be to get more rights but listen to everyone's opinion, or not link things to age at all and let the parents decide what they think for their own child. So this last sentence really tells me what your argument is. It sounds like you're arguing for people to determine what age they should be allowed to do certain things, or that their parents should be able to decide what age their children do certain things. Your previous paragraphs may be a bit too general- if you are arguing that age restrictions should be determined by individuals and not the government then go through your paper and make sure that is clear in every paragraph. You have made some great changes between your rough draft and this revision- just make sure you get your argument down to a clear and focused topic. **


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Revision (2) - Argument ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 04.13.11; **171** due 04.15.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif;">Numbers are everywhere you look. They are on street signs, on houses, at stores, and they even show how long you have been alive. That number, the one that says how old or young a person is, could be restricting you from doing what you want. Hearing all of the laws that were made differently for different ages just doesn't seem fair. Should a simple number be able to determine whether you can vote, run for president, what kind of movies you can see, or even be able to drive while talking on the phone**?**

Who decides how old a person has to be to do a certain thing? Why that certain number? Just because a person reaches a certain number of years they have lived on earth doesn't mean that they are mature enough to handle a new responsibility they are given, a person can only gain the maturity needed for a task by experiencing it for themselves. If you're are below the age limit you could be mature enough, and have enough experience, to handle something new. A person could be twenty years and 364 days old and that one day can take them from being a D.D. (designated driver) to someone who can drink whenever they feel the need**.**

The lowering and raising of drinking laws show the uncertainty people have with the ages they have chosen in the past. Many people believed they chose wrong then, so how do we know what the law is now won't change again in the future? The lawmakers don't know exactly what age is appropriate for things simply because no one is going to be the same at that age. Making an assumption that everyone will or will not be able to handle something could be very wrong and degrading.In France, the legal drinking age is 16 (Cognac.com ) and it's different for almost all the countries. The differences in age limits shows the uncertainty the authorities have in deciding a set in stone age limit.

An expert from the Pacific institution for Research and Evaluation believes that, teens "have more trouble knowing when to stop," and therefore "overdo it and binge more often than adults." (Madd.com) This statement may be true for some but not all. Simply because someone is a teenager doesn't automatically mean that is what they'll do. Everyone knows what they are and aren't capable of and should have the right to chose what they should do. This statement could also be said for many adults, even though they have passed their teenage years they still might not be able to handle the responsibility of drinking.

People are constantly saying how kids don't have enough experience, or that seeing certain things in movies can rot our minds or disturb us. Kids see plenty of that in real life. It could be seen at school, in public, or home. When a child experiences this they become more mature. It causes them to grow up much faster and take more responsibility for themselves. Keeping kids away from things because they don't have the experience, stops them from getting that experience or learning how to deal with it. Parents take control of their children's lives and keep them from seeing or doing everything they should simply because it could be dangerous, or parents have heard rumored stories from other people that scares them.

Numbers can be important in many instances, but they can also have an impact on so many lives. Age restricts us from doing what we want and should be able to do. Just because you have lived on the earth for a certain amount of time doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else. Things shouldn't be determined by age but your maturity level because after all, who would want age, a simple number, to keep them living there life the way they want to. No one knows how someone is going to react in a certain situation except themselves. Realizing this one person shouldn't be able to chose a certain number that someone has to be to get more rights but listen to everyone's opinion, or not link things to age at all and let the parents decide what they think for their own child.

"Legal Drinking Age in Different Countries." //www.cognac.com//. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. <http://cognac.com/legal-drinking-age-in-different-countries/>.

"MADD - Why 21." //MADD - Mothers Against Drunk Driving//. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. <http://www.madd.org/underage-drinking/why21/>

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif; font-size: 16px;">Numbers are everywhere you look. They are on street signs, on houses, at stores, and they even show how long you have been alive. That number, the one that says how old or young a person is, could be restricting you from doing what you want. Hearing all of the laws that were made differently for different ages just doesn't seem fair. Should a simple number be able to determine whether you can vote, run for president, what kind of movies you can see, or even be able to drive while talking on the phone ?
 * Response to Revision 2**

Who decides how old a person has to be to do a certain thing? Why that certain number? Just because a person reaches a certain number of years they have lived on earth doesn't mean that they are mature enough to handle a new responsibility they are given. A person can only gain the maturity needed for a task by experiencing it for themselves. If you're are below the age limit you could be mature enough, and have enough experience, to handle something new. A person could be twenty years and 364 days old and that one day can take them from being a D.D. (designated driver), because they are not old enough to drink, to someone who can drink whenever they feel the need.


 * The lowering and raising of drinking laws show the uncertainty people have with the ages they have chosen in the past. Many people believed they chose wrong then, so how do we know what the law is now won't change again in the future?** What have the ages changed from? **The lawmakers don't know exactly what age is appropriate for things simply because no one is going to be the same at that age. Making an assumption that everyone will or will not be able to handle something could be very wrong and degrading.In France, the legal drinking age is 16 (Cognac.com ) and it's different for almost all the countries. The differences in age limits shows the uncertainty the authorities have in deciding a set in stone age limit.** Why do you think the age went from 18 to 21? Which do you think is a better age? Or do you think that the authorities shouldn't be the ones picking the age at all?


 * An expert from the Pacific institution for Research and Evaluation believes that, teens "have more trouble knowing when to stop," and therefore "overdo it and binge more often than adults." (Madd.com) This statement may be true for some but not all. Simply because someone is a teenager doesn't automatically mean that is what they'll do. Everyone knows what they are and aren't capable of and should have the right to chose what they should do. This statement could also be said for many adults, even though they have passed their teenage years they still might not be able to handle the responsibility of drinking.** Good use of research to show the other side's points. Do you think that having a drinking age makes teenagers more likely to binge? In other words, is drinking "cooler" because its illegal and you have to be sneaky to do it?


 * People are constantly saying how kids don't have enough experience, or that seeing certain things in movies can rot our minds or disturb us. Kids see plenty of that in real life. It could be seen at school, in public, or home. When a child experiences this they become more mature. It causes them to grow up much faster and take more responsibility for themselves. Keeping kids away from things because they don't have the experience, stops them from getting that experience or learning how to deal with it. **Tie this to drinking- do kids who grow up with a more casual attitude about drinking handle it better? In other words, if drinking isn't a big deal at your house are you more likely to make better choices about it? **Parents take control of their children's lives and keep them from seeing or doing everything they should simply because it could be dangerous, or parents have heard rumored stories from other people that scares them.** This paragraph about experience being related to maturity is good- just tie it back into the drinking age.


 * Numbers can be important in many instances, but they can also have an impact on so many lives. Age restricts us from doing what we want and should be able to do. Just because you have lived on the earth for a certain amount of time doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else. Things shouldn't be determined by age but your maturity level because after all, who would want age, a simple number, to keep them living their life the way they want to. No one knows how someone is going to react in a certain situation except themselves. Realizing this one person shouldn't be able to chose a certain number that someone has to be to get more rights but listen to everyone's opinion, or not link things to age at all and let the parents decide what they think for their own child.** This is a good closing paragraph, but the last sentence is a little confusing. I think you are trying to say that these decisions should be the individual's or their families, and not the government- am I on the right track? Maybe give it a read through and try to make it just a little clearer.


 * "Legal Drinking Age in Different Countries." //www.cognac.com//. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. <<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 100% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; padding-right: 10px;">[] >.**


 * "MADD - Why 21." //MADD - Mothers Against Drunk Driving//. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. <<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 100% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; padding-right: 10px;">[] >**
 * Great citations!! I hope my tips helped you- I use both those sites all the time. They are so helpful- especially when you are in college and have to cite with every single paper.**


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">FINAL - Argument ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 04.19.11; **171** due 04.22.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

** <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',Times,serif;">Numbers are everywhere you look. They are on street signs, on houses, at stores, and they even show how long you have been alive. That number, the one that says how old or young a person is, could be restricting you from doing what you want. Hearing all of the laws that were made differently for different ages just doesn't seem fair. Should a simple number be able to determine whether you can vote, run for president, what kind of movies you can see, or even be able to drive while talking on the phone **?

Who decides how old a person has to be to do a certain thing? Why that certain number? Just because a person reaches a certain number of years they have lived on earth doesn't mean that they are mature enough to handle a new responsibility they are given. A person can only gain the maturity needed for a task by experiencing it for themselves. If you're are below the age limit you could be mature enough, and have enough experience, to handle something new. A person could be twenty years and 364 days old and that one day can take them from being a D.D. (designated driver), because they are not old enough to drink, to someone who can drink whenever they feel the need.

The lowering and raising of drinking laws between the ages of 18 and 21 in America, show the uncertainty people have with the ages they have chosen in the past. Many people believed they chose wrong then, so how do we know what the law is now won't change again in the future? The lawmakers don't know exactly what age is appropriate for things simply because no one is going to be the same at that age. Making an assumption that everyone will or will not be able to handle something could be very wrong and degrading.In France, the legal drinking age is 16 (Cognac.com ) and it's different for almost all the countries. The differences in age limits shows the uncertainty the authorities have in deciding a set in stone age limit**.** People may have found that some 18 year olds weren't handling the responsibility that came with alcohol very well, but that still wasn't the case for everyone. Authorities shouldn't be able to chose the age that someone can handle alcohol because it'll will never be the same for people.

An expert from the Pacific institution for Research and Evaluation believes that, teens "have more trouble knowing when to stop," and therefore "overdo it and binge more often than adults." (Madd.com) This statement may be true for some but not all. Simply because someone is a teenager doesn't automatically mean that is what they'll do. Everyone knows what they are and aren't capable of and should have the right to chose what they should do. This statement could also be said for many adults, even though they have passed their teenage years they still might not be able to handle the responsibility of drinking. When a child is told they can't do something it makes them want to do it even more, so telling someone they can't drink makes them want to be sneaky in order to make them look "cooler"**.**

** People are constantly saying how kids don't have enough experience, or that seeing certain things in movies can rot our minds or disturb us. Kids see plenty of that in real life. It could be seen at school, in public, or home. When a child experiences this they become more mature. It causes them to grow up much faster and take more responsibility for themselves. Keeping kids away from things because they don't have the experience, stops them from getting that experience or learning how to deal with it. **I think if a child were to grow up at a home where parents don't take alcohol so seriously, that child is going to be smarter when it comes to alcohol and less likely to sneak around their parents in order to drink. Parents take control of their children's lives and keep them from seeing or doing everything they should simply because it could be dangerous, or parents have heard rumored stories from other people that scares them.

Numbers can be important in many instances, but they can also have an impact on so many lives. Age restricts us from doing what we want and should be able to do. Just because you have lived on the earth for a certain amount of time doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else. Things shouldn't be determined by age but your maturity level because after all, who would want age, a simple number, to keep them living their life the way they want to. No one knows how someone is going to react in a certain situation except themselves. Realizing this one person shouldn't be able to chose a certain number that someone has to be to get more rights but listen to everyone's opinion, or not link things to age at all and let the parents decide what they think for their own child.

**"Legal Drinking Age in Different Countries." //www.cognac.com//. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. <<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 100% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; cursor: pointer; padding-right: 10px;">[] >.** **"MADD - Why 21." //MADD - Mothers Against Drunk Driving//. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. <<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 100% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; cursor: pointer; padding-right: 10px;">[] >**

I was very impressed with your ability to take on an entirely new topic for your argument piece. I think you make some really good points in this piece, and your voice comes through very well. You mixed research with personal opinion and come up with an argument that is well-rounded and considers the opposition's points as well as your own. You start out generally, discussing age restrictions and move into a specific argument about the drinking age and then you become more general again in the conclusion. This is one way to compose an argument (or any other piece) and you did it very well. If you write another piece in the future, you should try experimenting with some other styles- just for fun! When you look at your first draft and compare it to your final piece, you can really see how your writing evolved and became more complete. I appreciate you considering my comments/questions and using some of them in your piece- I hope they were helpful! I really enjoyed working with you this semester- it was really fun as well as so helpful to me. I really liked seeing how you used my responses and reading your writing as you changed and shaped it into your final piece. I'm not sure what else we are required to do for this project- but if I don't get a chance in the future I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your writing with me and allowing me to ask you questions and comment on it. Have a great rest of the semester and summer!!
 * Response to Final Revision**

-Katherine


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">REFLECTION #3 ****<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 04.25.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **