Precious+Carter+8-E.H.

Mrs. lange is making us play around on the iPads.

Roosevelt Student: 8-E.H.

Hi, my name is Erin and I am a junior at Roosevelt high school. I am involved in track, orchestra, news paper and much more. I love english class and I love learning new things. I have some strengths and weaknesses as I am looking forward to you helping me improve on my weak spots. I ask that you do not be 'nice' or lenient when it comes to editing my writing. I want to improve and I want it to show when someone reads my work. I do not exactly know what I want to do for a living or what I want to go to college for, but I think that it will be something related to writing so I hope to gain a lot from this mentoring. I am looking forward to your help. I think that this is a great opportunity and I am hoping to gain a lot form this experience. Thank you so much for your time and I am excited to get started. Peace out bro, Erin
 * Letters of Introduction ( **due 01.21.11 **) **

PS. Sorry about the color, I was bored.

Hello, my name is Precious Carter and I attend Drake University. My major is Education and my endorsement areas are English Literature and Journalism. One of the courses I am currently taking is Teaching Writing Theory and Practice. This course focuses on the different theories of writing practices and the different approaches to teaching writing and how it shapes the student’s development as a writer. I will learn how to prepare writing assignments, and respond to student’s papers etc. I think the High School/ university writing project will be a very interesting experience. I hope that we learn from each other and grow together. I have never been a writing mentor, so this will be something new and different. I hope to offer you constructive criticism and a ton of praise as well. I wish you luck and I will see you soon. Sincerely, Precious Carter


 * Rough Draft - Definition ( ****RHS** due 01.27.11; **171** due 01.28.11 **) **

Before you read this and tear it up with your edits, I just want to tell you that I am very frustrated at the moment because I feel like this is more of an argument than a definition. It was hard to think of characteristics of censorship. I didn't write a conclusion yet,I'll try to do one tonight of tomorrow. Please leave ideas if you have any.

Censorship. What is it? It is taking away the knowledge of something from blocking it completely. So who decides what is censored and what is not? Is it a personal decision or is it a decision made by a higher position, such as the government? Every day everyone faces censorship in school with the text and clothing allowed; through media with what is allowed to be said and showed on certain television stations, internet sites and radio stations. Is it necessary? Things are censored, for the most part, because of age appropriateness. For example children may sometimes be watching a television show that is not age appropriate.

Censorship prevents words from being said on television and the radio for much of the same reason. If children are exposed to things that they are not of the proper age, they may try, and say things that they have seen or heard that are inappropriate of dangerous. For this reason censorship is greatly necessary. With censorship people would not have to worry about types of things like accidental exposure. But should parents and people in general be able to control what they expose themselves and their children to? Many would argue the point that everyone has a right to be exposed to whatever they want and no one should be able to take that right away.

For the most part the only bad thing about government run censorship is, children being exposed to thing s that they shouldn’t be. Television providers have given customers the option to block channels and shows. If parents do not want their children to watch certain things then they are able to prevent that from happening.

Response You have a lot of good ideas so far so don’t be so hard on yourself. The following are some questions that you might want to consider. Who is your audience, who do you think you are writing this for? What do you want to be the main focus of this definition? Do you want to focus on how parents use censorship? How the government uses censorship etc.? Whatever you decide after you do so then you can collect data to support your focus. Do you have an opinion about this? Is ok to express it or not express when writing this definition are you being neutral? Lastly personally in my writing I try not to ask too many questions in a paper. Consider yourself an expert. You have done the research so write in confidence. You are sharing your knowledge with the reader. If I do ask questions in my writing I make sure I answer each question so I don’t leave the reader guessing, good luck.

Ok I redid the whole thing, I hope its more along the lines of an actual definition this time!
 * Revision - Definition ( ****RHS** due 01.31.11; **171** due 02.01.11 **) **

Response: I like where you are going with this. By providing a definition you are helping your reader understand its true definition. (Any thing I change in the text will be in bold lettering )A few things to consider are the following; Does the first sentence tell the reader anything about the definition? How do people misuse or misunderstand censorship? If you’re not going to explain how, I would think about having a different sentence to start off with. The misuse and misunderstanding **of** a word is something that happens hundreds of times on a daily basis. Censorship. A simple ten letter word, but what does it mean? To fully understand the true meaning of the word, it is almost vital to include the definition of censor first. According to the dictionary, censor is an official [|who] examines books, plays, [|news] reports, motion pictures,  [|radio] and television programs, letters, cablegrams, etc., for  [|the]  purpose of suppressing parts deemed objectionable on moral, political, military, or other grounds  . That seems a little wordy; let’s try to break it down.

**You use the word (things) 4 times in the following sentences can you think of another word to use?** To begin with, the definition lists a group of things that are usually censored. In schools certain books, language, and movies are censored. On television, certain things like language and body parts are censored. The reason why things are censored is to keep certain knowledge away from those who are not in the correct position to receive it. For example, many believe that children should not be exposed to things like sex and certain language until they reach the appropriate age. For this reason, millions of things are censored every year. **Expand is that a good or bad, thing? How could earlier exposure lead to negative consequences? Example some media are saying that the t.v. show "Teen Mom" on MTV is causing many teen pregnancies. Who's job do you think it is to censor? Parents, Media, Schools?** Knowing this it is learned that censorship is the act or practice of censoring something. Censoring can be argued as a necessary thing, or something that should come as a personal choice for many reasons.

Good job so far I would just think about adding a couple short stories of when you or someone you know encountered censorship. By adding a few short antidotes it will further engage the reader and get your point across more effectively, Good luck.
 * FINAL - Definition ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 02.02.11; **171** due 02.04.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

The misuse and misunderstanding **of** a word is something that happens hundreds of times on a daily basis. Censorship. A simple ten letter word that will be explored. To fully understand the true meaning of the word, it is almost vital to include the definition of censor first. According to the dictionary, censor is an official who examines books, plays, news reports, motion pictures, radio and television programs, letters, cablegrams, etc., for the purpose of suppressing parts deemed objectionable on moral, political, military, or other grounds. That seems a little wordy; let’s try to break it down.

To begin with, the definition lists a group of items that are usually censored. In schools certain books, language, and movies are censored. On television, certain things like language and body parts are censored. The reason why censors are used is to keep certain knowledge away from those who are not in the correct position to receive it. For example, many believe that children should not be exposed to things like sex and certain language until they reach the appropriate age. For this reason, millions of things are censored every year. For example, many are arguing that the the popular television show “Teen Mom” on MTV is causing the teen pregnancy rate to rise. Many believe that censorship should be a responsibility that is left up to parents or guardians, and not to the government, media or school systems; although in some cases parents are unconcerned about what their children are exposed to.

Knowing this it is learned that censorship is the act or practice of censoring something. Censoring can be argued as a necessary thing, or something that should come as a personal choice for many reasons.

Response Good job Erin you have come a long way since your original draft. I think if someone who did not have previous knowledge of the word censorship read your definition they would be more knowledgeable after reading it. A few things to consider I am still not sure about the first sentence, how do you think people misuse or misunderstand the word censorship? An example to clarify would be nice. (Also say misusing and misunderstanding or misused and misunderstood) I love how you mentioned about the debate over the T.V show Teen Mom by doing so it engages the reader. You also made a very good point when you said whose job is it censor children and young adults. The second to last sentence goes from present to past tense and also I am not sure what you mean when you say censorship is learned. The last sentence was great conclusion. Overall you did a very good job and I can’t wait to read your next assignment.

<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 02.08.11; **171** due 02.11.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **
 * REFLECTION #1 (**

1. The thing that I felt like I learned the most would have to be engaging the reader. I got ideas on how to involver the reader and make them more engaged by using things that relate to their lives. 2. My drake student helped me the most with engaging the reader and taking out things that were unnecessary. 3. I think that the the thing that I need to improve on the most would be making sure that the things mentioned in the intro are addressed in the body paragraphs. Thank you!!!

Response to reflection, I agree with you when you stated that a writer should engage the reader. We live in such a fast paced society that most people are very busy and they have short attention spans. In one of my journalism classes I learned that if you don’t hook the reader right away, they will not continue to read and even after hooking them, they may still only scan the written material. You were right when you said it is very important to take out things that are not necessary. When I write, I think of each sentence as building the story or thesis. If it doesn’t add to it, it is taking away, so when writing I do my best to stay focused on the topic. If I introduce a new subject, I only do so if it relates to the main topic. Lastly I agree with your last statement you can’t introduce the reader to something and not go into further detail in the body of the paragraph. I look forward to reading more of you writing.


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Rough Draft - Classification/Division ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 02.16.11; **171** due 02.18.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

It is something that we all want and need. Without it we can never truly be ourselves. According to the dictionary privacy is the state of being free from intrusion or disturbance in one’s private life or affairs. Well most English teachers will tell you not to use the word in the definition, so let’s break down the different categories of privacy to get a better understanding. The reason why people become private about different things is because of four main reasons: discomfort, protection, vulnerability and insecurities. **Physical**: When thinking about privacy, physical privacy is probably the first type that comes to mind. Most people consider their body as a sacred thing that no one is to intrude on unless given permission. When dressing or fixing up one’s body, usually people want that privacy do to their insecurities, discomfort or even protection. On a lighter note, some people are insecure about simple things like their feet, chest and forehead. For these things there are simple, socks and shoes, avoiding low cut shirts and bangs. Physical privacy is wanted more from insecurities and discomfort than vulnerability or protection. **Personal:** Diaries, journals, promises, and social security numbers, keepsakes are all just a few examples of personal privacy. Personal privacy is not always kept personal or between one person per say. Personal things can be told as secrets to close friends and family or written in a diary. Although secrets are meant to be kept quiet and buried underground, many do not stay that way. Secrets are exposed, promises are broken, diaries read, social security numbers stolen and keepsakes discarded. Personal privacy is needed because of vulnerability and insecurities. **Cyber:** Passwords are the biggest part of cyber privacy. To become a part of any online group or social network, you must have a password that will be kept private to avoid anyone logging on and pretending to be you. Cyber privacy is probably one of the less important privacies, but now-a-days we look at it as one of the most important. People will go to great heights to keep their cyber information private even before their personal or physical privacies. Lately more and more things are being done online rather than physically, so it is important to keep cyber things private, but never should cyber privacy become more important than physical or personal. If privacy gets to this point, then we will in the end lose who we are. Cyber privacy is used because of protection more than anything else. Physical, personal, and cyber are just a few of the biggest types of privacy that we use in our everyday lives. Privacy is very much needed due to those four things: discomfort, protection, vulnerability and insecurities.

Response I think this was a very good first rough draft, I can see you put a lot of time and effort into it. Just a few things to consider: Don’t start the opening sentence with it. Say the word privacy, so that way the reader understands the subject matter right away. In the second sentence just start with- most English teachers, do that so you sound less conversational. It may be a little confusing to the reader to provide a list when you say/ the 4 main reasons discomfort, protection etc. but then have different words that are darken in the next paragraph physical, personal, cyber. So maybe write a few supporting sentence explaining discomfort etc then go into the- when thinking about privacy, so there is a smoother transition.

//**My response is within the text**// It is something that we all want and need. Without it we can never truly be ourselves. //**How can not having privacy makes us unable to be ourselves?**//According to the dictionary privacy is the state of being free from intrusion or disturbance in one’s private life or affairs. //**I would think about taking out the sentence Well most English teachers etc. it does not add to the paper. Maybe replace it wth- There are many different categories or types of privacy etc.**// Well most English teachers will tell you not to use the word in the definition, so let’s break down the different categories of privacy to get a better understanding. The reason why people become private about //**think of replacing different things with something else,**// **it is to vague** different things is because of four main reasons: discomfort, protection, vulnerability and insecurities. Discomfort has to do with things that make you squirm, the things that you do not particularly like. Protection speaks to things like social security numbers, things that are private that if they are exposed, things could happen that put someone in danger or in a bad situation. Vulnerability has to do with things like relationships, some things you tell your significant other that you would not want everyone else to know. Insecurities are things about a person that make them uncomfortable or that they are not exactly in love with about themselves. These four things are just characteristics of the different types of privacy. //**I love how you explained the 4 main reasons good job. Something to think about would be change the word things is mentioned 10 times in this section. Think about switching and using another word for some of those.**// **Physical**: When thinking about privacy, physical privacy is probably the first type that comes to mind. Most people consider their body as a sacred thing that no one is to intrude on unless given permission. When dressing or fixing up one’s body, due to insecurities, discomfort or even protection, they may want to be in a private place away from others. On a lighter note, some people are insecure about simple things like their feet, chest and forehead. For these things there are simple remedies, socks and shoes, avoiding low cut shirts and bangs. //**Think about rewording the last sentence-**// Physical privacy is wanted more from insecurities and discomfort than vulnerability or protection. **Personal:** Diaries, journals, promises, and social security numbers, keepsakes are all just a few examples of personal privacy. Personal privacy is not always kept personal or between one person per say. Personal things can be told as secrets to close friends and family or written in a diary. Although secrets are meant to be kept quiet and buried underground, many do not stay that way. Secrets are exposed, promises are broken, diaries read, social security numbers stolen and keepsakes discarded. Personal privacy is needed because of vulnerability and insecurities. **Cyber:** Passwords are the biggest part of cyber privacy. To become a part of any online group or social network, you must have a password that will be kept private to avoid anyone logging on and pretending to be you. Cyber privacy is probably one of the less important privacies //**think about taking out- Cyber privacy is one of the less important, for some it may be the most important**//, but now-a-days we look at it as one of the most important. People will go to great heights to keep their cyber information private even before their personal or physical privacies. Lately more and more things are being done online like paying bills, ordering pizza and online shopping. It is important to keep cyber things private, but never should cyber privacy become more important than physical or personal. //**Explain why you think cyber privacy should never be more important the personal or physical.**// If privacy gets to this point, then we will in the end lose who we are. Cyber privacy is used because of protection more than anything else. Physical, personal, and cyber are just a few of the biggest types of privacy that we use in our everyday lives. Privacy is very much needed due to those four things: discomfort, protection, vulnerability and insecurities. //**Add something more at the end, maybe a personal reflection, a new insight, a quote etc give the reader something at the end that is new and different, good job.**//
 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Revision - Classification/Division ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 02.23.11; **171** due 02.25.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">FINAL - Classification/Division ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 03.01.11; **171** due 03.04.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

It is something that we all want and need. Without it we can never truly be ourselves. Without privacy many people may become more secluded and distant than they would if they had the luxury of privacy. According to the dictionary privacy is the state of being free from intrusion or disturbance in one’s private life or affairs. There are many different categories or types of privacy so starting with and breaking down the definition will help to understand it more. The reason why people become private with their personal belongings is because of four main reasons: discomfort, protection, vulnerability and insecurities. Discomfort has to do with things that make you squirm, the things that you do not particularly like. Protection speaks to things like social security numbers, things that are private that if they are exposed, things could happen that put someone in danger or in a bad situation. Vulnerability has to do with things like relationships, some things you tell your significant other that you would not want everyone else to know. Insecurities are the pieces of a person that make them uncomfortable or that they are not exactly in love with about themselves. These four words are just characteristics of the different types of privacy. **<span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Physical ** : When thinking about privacy, physical privacy is probably the first type that comes to mind. Most people consider their body as a sacred thing that no one is to intrude on unless given permission. When dressing or fixing up one’s body, due to insecurities, discomfort or even protection, they may want to be in a private place away from others. On a lighter note, some people are insecure about simple things like their feet, chest and forehead. For these things there are simple remedies, socks and shoes, avoiding low cut shirts and bangs. Physical privacy is wanted more because of insecurities and discomfort than anything else. **<span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Personal: ** Diaries, journals, promises, and social security numbers, keepsakes are all just a few examples of personal privacy. Personal privacy is not always kept personal or between one person per say. Personal things can be told as secrets to close friends and family or written in a diary. Although secrets are meant to be kept quiet and buried underground, many do not stay that way. Secrets are exposed, promises are broken, diaries read, social security numbers stolen and keepsakes discarded. Personal privacy is needed because of vulnerability and insecurities. **<span style="font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Cyber: ** Passwords are the biggest part of cyber privacy. To become a part of any online group or social network, you must have a password that will be kept private to avoid anyone logging on and pretending to be you. Cyber privacy is probably one of the less important privacies but now-a-days we look at it as one of the most important. People will go to great heights to keep their cyber information private even before their personal or physical privacies. Lately more and more things are being done online like paying bills, ordering pizza and online shopping. It is important to keep cyber things private, but never should cyber privacy become more important than physical or personal. If privacy gets to this point, then we will in the end lose who we are. Physical and personal privacy have to do with internal characteristics of ourselves that should never be replaced by anything. Cyber privacy is used because of protection. Physical, personal, and cyber are just a few of the biggest types of privacy that we use in our everyday lives. Privacy is very much needed due to those four things: discomfort, protection, vulnerability and insecurities. As Katharine Fullerton Gerould put it, “All violations of essential privacy are brutalizing.”


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">REFLECTION #2 ****<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 03.22.11; **171** due 03.25.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

To many and almost all people, boundaries are a necessity. Without them many things can go wrong; from simple things like broken items, to serious things like death. **I like how you state that boundaries are a necssity for the big and small things in life. Go into further detail how can not having boundaries lead to broken items or even death? Maybe give an example like without boundaries people could break the speed limit or driving drunk etc. could lead to death.** Boundaries give people a chance to become more of themselves while also limiting themselves to things within reason. **How does having boundaries give people a chance to become more of themselves while also limiting them? I like where this is going.** Government, parents, important figures, children, media and everyone else in the world has their moments when they overstep their boundaries **Are there different consequences when each group breaks boundaries? What happens when the goverment does verses a media figures does etc. Examples when the goverment breaks boundaries it may lead to war when a media firgure does they may go to jail.**, but who sets these boundaries? Who makes some things acceptable and others not? These are questions that we have all asked ourselves, and questions that will now be addressed. Boundaries come about because of what society considers ‘the norm’. ** I love the previous sentence ** From things like clothing, to hairstyles, to personality, everything has a label on it making it acceptable or unacceptable. ** Do you think peer pressure leads people to stay within society norms? ** Usually people do not blatantly tell people that they are not sticking to the status quo because of the boundaries that have been set in place. Who creates these boundaries ** You already asked this question, take this out ** ? Society. Are they necessary? In some respects they are very necessary, but in others boundaries should be left up to a personal decision, not based upon what everyone else thinks of the idea. ** Why do you think it should based on personal decision? ** Government puts boundaries on a lot of things like media, television, money and a lot more. In some situations we do need someone to see over our country and make decisions that would be the best for everyone. But in other situations, the people on top try to regulate things that they should not have control over. Schools, churches and many more important figures regulate boundaries that should not be within their jurisdiction. Who should be the regulator of boundaries? Should it be left up to parents, administration, government or solely based on a personal decision?
 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Rough Draft - Argument ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 03.30.11; **171** due 04.01.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **
 * Ok so I didn't no how to conclude it because I got frustrated. I feel like my paper is more of an imformative piece more than an argument! Please help. Any ideas would be helpful.**
 * I think this may sound like more of an argument piece because you may need to give more examples of the other side of the issue. Example It is important that society had boundaries because of -- your argument. It is also important that boundaries be based on personal decision-- your argument. If you include both sides it will seem more balanced. You don't have to write about each one equally but it is good to mention the counter argument. Your conclusion could be what you think a society without boundaries would look like. Or a example of when you or someone you know broke or stayed within a boundary. Lastly you could talk about the affects of breaking or staying within the boundaries that society has put into place, good luck.**


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Revision (1) - Argument ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 04.05.11; **171** due 04.08.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">To many and almost all people, boundaries are a necessity. Without them many things can go wrong; from simple things like broken items, to serious things like death. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-weight: normal;">Rules like drunk driving and do not play with matches are things that prevent potentially horrible things from happening. //Good examples of some the serious things that could occur if boundaries aren't put in place. Maybe give a few examples of broken items, since you mentioned them as well.//** Boundaries give people a chance to become more of themselves while also limiting themselves to things within reason. **// How does boundaries give people a chance to be more of themselves? //**<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"> When people have a chance to live their limitless lives there are able to open up and not hold back who they truly are. **// What do you mean when you say people get a chance to live their limitless lives? //**<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"> Government, parents, important figures, children, media and everyone else in the world has their moments when they overstep there, but who sets these boundaries? What are the different consequences for different groups of people overstepping boundaries? To keep it simple, when government officials cross the line it can lead to things like war, when celebrities overstep their boundaries it can lead to jail time. Consequences are different for each group of people. Who makes some things acceptable and others not? **// This question seems out of place here, maybe put with next paragraph //**<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"> These are questions that we have all asked ourselves, and questions that will now be addressed.

<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">Boundaries come about because of what society considers ‘the norm’. From things like clothing, to hairstyles, to personality, everything has a label on it making it acceptable or unacceptable. **Very good examples** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">**<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-weight: normal;">Many people decide to go against the norm, but there is a bigger group of people who rather stick to what is acceptable due to things like peer pressure. //Usually people do not blatantly tell people that they are not sticking to the status quo because of the boundaries that have been set in place. In some respects they are very necessary, but in others boundaries should be left up to a personal decision, not based upon what everyone else thinks of the idea. Why should it be a personal decision?//** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">Government puts boundaries on a lot of things like media, television, money and a lot more. In some situations we do need someone to see over our country and make decisions that would be the best for everyone. But in other situations, the people on top try to regulate things that they should not have control over. **// Nice information //**<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"> Schools, churches and many more important figures regulate boundaries that should not be within their jurisdiction. <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">Who should be the regulator of boundaries? Should it be left up to parents, administration, and government or solely based on a personal decision? **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 115%;">A society without boundaries could lead to things like hurt feelings, // You haven't mentioned hurt feelings before, maybe mention in above text //<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 115%;"> broken items, sickness or even death as mentioned before. Society does need boundaries to keep things under control in some respects, but there should be limits on what should be controlled by the government and what should be controlled by a house hold, school, church or a simple personal decision. Staying within boundaries could mean that as a whole, we lose our individuality, but breaking out of boundaries and going against the norm could cause a total outrage. // Who would be upset? Do they have a right to be? //**


 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">Revision (2) - Argument ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 04.13.11; **171** due 04.15.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">To many and almost all people, boundaries are a necessity. Without them many things can go wrong; from simple things like broken items, to serious things like death. **<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-weight: normal;">Rules like no drunk driving and do not play with matches are things that prevent potentially horrible things from happening. //In the opening you talk about having boundaries, why else do you think that having boundaries are necessary?Why do you think people break rules or boundaries like driving drunk and playing with matches? Why do you think some people break these boundaries while others don't?//** Boundaries give people a chance to become more of themselves while also limiting themselves to things within reason. When people have a chance to live their limitless lives there are able to open up and not hold back who they truly are and not conform to the status quo. **//How does this connect to your above writing? Maybe have a transition between these two ideas example. All though in many cases having boundaries are a necessity people need to remain true to who they are and not lose themselves because of the boundaries that are put into place. Then go into Boundaries give ... because right now they seem like to very separate ideas.//** Government, parents, important figures, children, media and everyone else in the world has their moments when they overstep their boundaries. **//Very good examples// //W//**ho sets these boundaries? What are the different consequences for different groups of people overstepping boundaries? To keep it simple, when government officials cross the line it can lead to things like war. When celebrities overstep their boundaries it can lead to jail time. Consequences are different for each group of people. Who makes some things acceptable and others not? These are questions that we have all asked ourselves, and questions that will now be addressed. **//I like these questions//** <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Boundaries come about because of what society considers ‘the norm’. From things like clothing, to hairstyles, to personality, everything has a label on it making it acceptable or unacceptable. **//Very effective line// <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-weight: normal;">Many people decide to go against the norm, but there is a bigger group of people who rather stick to what is acceptable due to things like peer pressure. ** Usually people do not blatantly tell people that they are not sticking to the status quo because of the boundaries that have been set in place. **//What happens to the people who step outside of societies boundaries? How are they treated? Do you think this stops people from breaking the "norm"?//** In some respects they are very necessary,but in others boundaries should be left up to a personal decision, not based upon what everyone else thinks. People should be able to live their lives how they want to, after all it is THEIR life. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Government puts boundaries on a lot of things like media, television, money and a lot more. In some situations we do need someone to see over our country and make decisions that would be the best for everyone. In other situations, the people on top try to regulate things that they should not have control over. **//What things shouldn't they regulate? Some people think that the Goverment should regulate more, what would you say to those people?//** Schools, churches and many more important figures regulate boundaries that should not be within their jurisdiction. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Who should be the regulator of boundaries? Should it be left up to parents, administration, and government or solely based on a personal decision? Society needs to have some structure so that we do not have a complete ruckus.
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: normal;">A society without boundaries could lead to things like hurt feelings, broken items like houses or cars, sickness or even death as mentioned before **//Didn't mention hurt feelings before//**. Depending on who you are talking to determines extent that boundaries should or can be broken. Society does need boundaries to keep things under control in some respects, but there should be limits on what should be controlled by the government and what should be controlled by a house hold, school, church or a simple personal decision. Staying within boundaries could mean that as a whole, we lose our individuality, but breaking out of boundaries and going against the norm could cause a total outrage.** //The ending is a bit dramatic//
 * //Overall you are doing a wonderful job there are just a few things that need tweaking. You make good points about how a person identity can get get lost if they get caught up in peer pressure and fall into societis ideal of "the norm."I think you make a very affective argument about the importance of boundaries and how it affects our society.//**

To many and almost all people **//This says the same thing twice//**, boundaries are a necessity. Without them many things can go wrong; from simple things like broken items, to serious things like death. ** Rules like no drunk driving and do not play with matches are things that prevent potentially horrible things from happening. **Why do you think people continue to break boundaries even though they have serious consequences?** ** **//Maybe take out broken items, because you don't go into further discussion about it.// Although many people stay true to boundaries many others do not //, p// eople may have their own reasons for breaking the rules or ignoring boundaries. For example, often times people feel the need to live “outside of the box” and to go against the flow, to accomplish this, one may have to go against the typical boundaries and live for themselves. **Very good. ** Maybe put the last three lines with the next paragraph because it sounds like your saying these people break rules like drunk driving but I think what your really saying is that they break out from"the norm" **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">FINAL - Argument ( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 04.19.11; **171** due 04.22.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **

Although in many cases, having boundaries are a necessity, people need to remain true to who they are and not lose themselves because of the boundaries that re put into place. Boundaries give people a chance to become more of themselves while also limiting themselves to things within reason. **What do you mean by this? How do boundaries limit a person but also allow them to become more of themselves? When people have a chance to live their limitless lives there are able to open up and not hold back who they truly are and not conform to the status quo. **

Government, parents, important figures, children, media and everyone else in the world has their moments when they overstep their boundaries. // W //ho sets these boundaries? What are the different consequences for different groups of people overstepping boundaries? To keep it simple, when government officials cross the line it can lead to things like war. When celebrities overstep their boundaries it can lead to jail time. Consequences are different for each group of people. Who makes some things acceptable and others not? These are questions that we have all asked ourselves, and questions that will now be addressed. **I really like this**

Boundaries come about because of what society considers ‘the norm’. From things like clothing, to hairstyles, to personality, everything has a label on it making it acceptable or unacceptable. ** Many people decide to go against the norm, but there is a bigger group of people who rather stick to what is acceptable due to things like peer pressure. ** Usually people do not blatantly tell people that they are not sticking to the status quo because of the boundaries that have been set in place. Also when people step out of bounds, they are treated like outcasts and “weirdo’s” although they are simply different. **Does this stop people from stepping out of bounds?**

In some respects they are very necessary, but in others boundaries should be left up to a personal decision, not based upon what everyone else thinks. People should be able to live their lives how they want to, after all it is THEIR life. **Why is this important?**

Government puts boundaries on a lot of things like media, television, money and a lot more. In some situations we do need someone to see over our country and make decisions that would be the best for everyone. In other situations, the people on top try to regulate things that they should not have control over. Schools, churches and many more important figures regulate boundaries that should not be within their jurisdiction.

Who should be the regulator of boundaries? Should it be left up to parents, administration, and government or solely based on a personal decision? Society needs to have some structure so that we do not have a complete ruckus. **Nice questions.** ** A society without boundaries could lead to things like hurt feelings, broken items like houses or cars, sickness or even death as mentioned before. **


 * Depending on whom you are talking to determines extent that boundaries should or can be broken. **You didn't mention hurt feelings before so maybe take it out here, and how are houses and cars broken? Society does need boundaries to keep things under control in some respects, but there should be limits on what the government should control and what should be controlled by a household, school, church or a simple personal decision. **Very good Staying within boundaries could mean that as a whole, we lose our individuality, but breaking out of boundaries and going against the norm could cause an even bigger problem. **
 * Sorry for the different font sizes, I don’t why it keeps doing that. Overall you have come a long way from your original piece. I like how you talked about the different type of boundaries everything from personal space, too government restrictions.You looked at how society sets the norms and why some people break the norms. You gave both sides of the argument by saying why boundaries are important and then by stating why to many may not be a good thing. This was a very interesting topic that you picked. It was great working with you, and good luck Precious**
 * <span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">REFLECTION #3 ****<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">( **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">**RHS** due 04.25.11 **<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode','Lucida Grande',sans-serif;">) **